All Up In: That Big Thing that Happened During the Met Gala

Music. Welcome to all up in my lady business I am your host Mary nisi on this podcast all explore the fine line between having it together I'm losing your shit here I share my journey as an entrepreneur a mom a wife a DJ and randomly a beekeeper I have no shame and no filter except the ones I use on Instagram my stories of resilience a little structure and a lot of resource Wellness can show you how to take those same things and live your life with your hole. Music. Hello folks thanks so much for tuning in today and what's been going on I had a very eventful week I went to go see Carol Burnett with some friends the other night and she was incredible like she's 89 years old and she's still touring she came out she was sitting in a little chair and she showed you know a bunch of clips from The Carol Burnett Show and then she went around and she like, questions from the audience like she did on the show and they were not plans you could tell it wasn't obvious plans but what's amazing is like you know she would answer questions like you know what was your favorite dress you wore on the show like kind of stuff like that but then it was like what was it like to work with Julie Andrews and then she would like. You know pop into a memory and pull these amazing memories and I mean she must have liked fifteen or Twenty anecdotes to sort of in her head ready to pull out knowing that someone's going to ask about them and it was just all so. Like there was no flooding there was no pausing to kind of recall there was no like senior moment she was just incredible my mother loved Carol Burnett and they looked very similar they had a very similar aesthetic Vibe everything about them was that my mom loved her and when we sat down to like watch it I just had this feeling like my mom was there and that she was really happy I was there and what's also kind of amazing is there's so many things that Carol Burnett says that my mom would say and it I don't know it just it was a wonderful time to be there especially on a day like today or other yesterday, I'm recording this on May 5th May 4th was actually a mom's her death day is that a day we pull. Celebrator memorialize but yeah May 4th whenever like on NPR they're always like May the fourth be with you and I was like oh that was the day my mom died a lot a lot of Jean nisi floating around in my vibes lately speaking of floating around remember that DJ conference I went to yeah I walked in there and I knew that it. Was going to give me covid and you know I'm rarely wrong it gave me covid-19, I woke up on Saturday morning and I had been testing all week because I knew like it was such a high dist it was a. It was a high-risk situation and I knew that it was going to be questionable and so I got back on Tuesday and I tested myself Wednesday Thursday Friday. And they were all negative and Sebastian test School his test came back negative but then. Saturday morning I woke up with a weird cough that I do that's different than like the weed Burr that I have in my voice and, I tested myself and it was like it kind of like faintly showed up. And I was like okay I'll take another one and that one kind of faintly showed up and then I said tested John and his was negative and it has Sebastian it just like lit up like a Christmas tree so it's possible that. I got it from Sebastian. But it is way more likely possible I got from the DJ conference because like I know 10 people from it that have tested positive in the last week so whatever I got it I felt badly for. I kind of felt that on Saturday I felt a little bit worse on Sunday a little bit worse on Monday and then Tuesday I haven't felt anything I never had a fever and then today I took a test and I'm - so less than a week of covid I will take it and you don't know what a vaccines work. On today's show we're going to talk about what's been going on with me my mom the covid of it all maybe a little Met Gala hot takes and gosh and what else happened the night of the Met Gala oh yeah Roe v-- Wade, rovi fucking wait. Music. So I am like painfully aware of the toxic messaging that women in particular are mired in from the moment that we are swaddled in pink blankets and surrounded and dolls and our moms Pierce our ears and you know we're giving all these princess goals when we're Toddlers and you know and then once you get kind of out of that phase It's Quickly followed by like, you know the messaging you start getting when you're you know little girls know about their weddings when there's so little like my Arie actually recently Sebastian's eight I recently asked him about his wedding and he's like my wedding like he didn't even know what a wedding was and that is literally what puts clothes on his back and food on his table and switch games in his switch, box in his switch you would think he'd know what a wedding is and I think to myself gosh when I was eight I had already planned it like I don't I don't know how you made it this far without knowing what a wedding is but that just kind of really gives you an idea you know about how differently the messaging goes because all the little girls my life that are his age they all know what their weddings are you know we're fed this idea of what weddings are and like Prince Charming and then you know then that's all quickly followed by, like body image issues and weight loss and competitive boy stuff is all these impossible standards to try to maintain and. The first day in May you know I said that the the Oscars and the Golden Globes were my Super Bowl but I don't know I don't know if I necessarily have to put a sport thing on to the Met Gala but the first Monday in May, it's an important day for me I actually have a you know how I've told you guys about my hack of like recording the red carpet for the Oscars and stuff and then I, watch it on delay and then I watch the doctors on delay well there's no there's nothing to watch with the Met Gala but there are a lot of hot takes I wanted so I had the E red carpet on my TV, no I liked it but I was I had covid I've active covid at this time so I think it was permissible but I was doing this much of extra. You know maximizing of my time but I had, red carpet and then I also had the Vogue red carpet on my laptop and I was kind of going back and forth between the two of them because they were kind of on a they got different things at different times it was honestly a and what's funny is I posted a picture of it on Instagram so many my friends were like I'm doing the exact same thing and I'm like we all have great minds there's a reason why were friends anyway so the fashion was good Blake Lively she was amazing but, everyone was anticipating you know they kept talking about when Kim Kardashian was going to come because she had some big surprise that she was going to be bringing out you know with her look or whatever and I was I mean to be completely honest with you, part of the reason why I was like really watching this and really leaning until the end is the fact that Blake Lively was the organizer and I thought for sure Taylor Swift was going to be there like. I thought for sure Taylor Swift is going to be there so I was watching this thing Till The Bitter End. I wanted to see Taylor and what she was going to do with this she would have done amazing things but then instead actually just now right before I went started recording this, I got the drop that she just dropped the first single from the Taylor version of 1989 so I guess she was a little busy and didn't have time to dress up because she was too busy working. Taylor's job is never done but anyway so we're watching it I'm watching it till the end and Kim shows up. You know literally in one of the most iconic dresses of all time why did she think she could do that why did she think that she could I bet you it was just a dumb hatched idea and because they've got enough money and influence they can make things happen whether they deserve it or not like honestly if anybody should be wearing the dress it should be Taylor, but I digress but apparently that dress has been living in a Ripley's Believe It or Not in Florida all this tracks and she somehow managed to get it to loan the get them to loan it to her. And then she made some kind of massive donation to The Ripley's Believe It or Not organization, it's a privately owned company so it's not like she bought the dress it's not like she got the Smithsonian to agree to give it to her she just like through enough cash at Ripley's Believe It or Not and want to getting it at her face she looked just blank and hungry and just devoid of expression or really a soul and the first thing when in the interview like the first thing out of her mouth when she was talking about how, she engaged in some stupid super dysfunctional eating this weird she was exercising in a sauna suit she didn't have any carbs she did all this have to drop 16 pounds to fit in that dress she was giving a Playbook to all the thirteen-year-old girls out there who want hacks on how to be skinny and it didn't even work. Like she had she they had to like they couldn't get the zipper up and so they want up having she had that coat that she was draping around her butt and it was because the dress couldn't close. Like she just she was sewn into the dress and they're just the but part of it she couldn't get sewn into so she had her skims underneath that trying to do everything it could to like hold her in and then it didn't even work. It's like, why did she even tell anybody that why did she have to mention that she lost all that weight it was just it was like why are you giving a guide book on how to give girls an eating disorder and she looked like a zombie she didn't look healthy or normal like the whole thing, like it didn't look healthy or normal and she just like she was like you know starved out not healthy it was kind of like how Marilyn Monroe is after the studio system got done with her and the whole thing had a real like Weekend at Bernie's vibe to it that I just. He was just he was like barely walking Pete had to like drag her up this it was awful and then to have all of this end with the news of the leaked memo about the overturning of row. V Wade it's just I mean it'd ruin the Met for me I'm not going to lie guys getting I mean it did but it didn't it just. It's so crushing there's a tweet by one of my favorite people I follow on Twitter. Is a woman named best called she actually wrote a book called knowing nobody will tell you this but me it's really really good but she tweeted out let this be remembered as the night the Met Gala saluted the Gilded Age a time of outrageous wealth disparity coded in the patina of luxury while the Supreme Court sentenced poor women seeking reproductive freedom to death. And I feel like that is a really accurate tweet a lot of takes out there and. You know I hope the leaker did it to mobilize mobilize outrage on the left but will it I mean. Republicans have been saying for years that their goal was to overturn Roe there's I mean it's this has been their stated goal for years and you know. Is anyone really surprised that Republicans always get shit done they always get shit done they are they they shouldn't be surprised this went through because Republicans always managed to get their bullshit through. Tax cuts and awful things they always get their things through us. The thing is is that they've been saying that this is their stated goal this is their plan we allowed McConnell to not let Obama replace Scalia. You're dangling the opportunity to replace him if Trump was elected and evangelicals you know they came out in droves. To vote for him held their nose and voted for him because the promise of the Supreme Court at least one justice but most likely to more given the age of the justices when. This was all going down but here's the thing is when you look at it it was white women that put Trump in office. It was white women that put Trump in office 52 percent of white women voted for him and in 2020. It was 55% he got more white women to vote for him in 2020. White women are the problem we allowed a man who didn't even get the popular vote put three justices on the Supreme Court. All three of the justices said that Roe was settled case law and that they would not overturn it and it was done and it wouldn't even be a thing that would happen that means that they perjure themselves when they were doing their confirmation hearings, but that was all very on-brand for Republicans expected you know is expected for you know Republicans to say one thing and do another and do things that the majority of the Comfort chunky don't want, and they'll do it anyway because a small minority does and you mean the Supreme Court is in a crisis anyway at this point I mean you know. It's an it's all a crisis of Trumps making but really. It was white women's making because if everything that happened in 2016 through 2020 was not enough of a wake-up call to mobilize or change some Minds you really think that this is the thing. I mean Republicans have been trying to overturn it and weren't shy about it and sure it's in the constitution rights are never really taken away so they really didn't think that this was going to be possible. To get it overturned. But they were just like using it for all the people who are dumb enough to not know how the Constitution Works to get people to donate to their campaigns like does that make sense like you know like even though. On a grand scheme they wouldn't be able to over write it because it over turn it because it's in the Constitution and rights don't get usually taken away, you know people even though it would lie couldn't get I think I think I thought and we all thought that like it really can't get overturned like they can try they can try but you know. Well they'll just use it for fundraising purposes but it really never won't get actually overruled it's kind of like prohibition they took away the right to drink and rightly to be honest to drink a legit poison and we all freaked out and we got it back so if this goes through which I don't think it will what will happen then, rich white women will always keep voting like they do because white women never really have to worry about this affecting them if you have money and you are resourceful you will always find a way to get what you need, I mean let me let me use myself as an example you know I like everybody else I mean no one wants to get covid but I was particularly psychotic about trying not to get it and I went to this insane lengths like. I've been covid crazy I have been paranoid testing constantly and you know save I wore my I mean I typically wear masks everywhere I got basically. Like peer pressured into not wearing one at that conference because there was no one there wearing one and I felt weird about it I'm not going to lie I felt I felt like I shouldn't wear one because no one else was. I get it and I panic is one of the things I don't want to have from covid as long covet and of course nobody wants long covid but I really don't like I need to be able to like. Walk up stairs without collapsing and that cannabis brain fog forever because I can't think straight and I said well I. I did what I had to do and I found online medical concierge to prescribe me Paxil Ovid and I took it I got it on Monday and I've been taking it and I feel great I don't feel like I have it anymore I testing negative but I mean, I like white women privileged my way through it like it cost a hundred and twenty eight dollars for the appointment they push the prescription through to my insurance it to Walgreens and my insurance pay for the medication it wasn't that much of a barrier entry but you know most people wouldn't think that through and I had an extra hundred twenty eight dollars throughout this problem so basically like this is the apotheosis of all, right wing talking points terms scammed his way into office on the technicality of the racist Electoral College on the promise that he would deliver scotus and he followed through. Mansion and Cinema are in some dark, fucking pockets of right-wing money and they really seem to love attention so even though technically we have the executive branch and the legislative branch has we don't really because of all the fuckery with the filibuster. We can't get anything through. And one of the hand-wringing takes that I keep seeing on the internet you know when people post though they care about babies until they're born and if they really cared, then it would be free to have them and childcare would be flowing like Manna From Heaven and Pre-K would be free and all this other stuff and it's like it that's 100% true Republicans don't care about babies and till they are only care about babies when they're inside of a woman's body and then after that you're on your own and you know. You wouldn't know it because of the way that the quote-unquote left-wing media covers it but the build back better plan in addition to making child tax credits permanent. That pulled thousands of families and children out of poverty. It had lots and lots of money for deeply subsidizing childcare I read in some places it was going like 10 dollars a day. To send your child to a high-quality childcare Universal Pre-K was going to be in there as well as was high quality care for the elderly and the disabled and that last one the care for the elderly and disabled that kind of care and support largely falls on the daughters and the sisters in the families, so having that heat taken off of those moms would be in another way that this would have been a way to support women and their families but no the media just love propping up their hot takes on how lame the build back better is and you know how it's only about building roads and bridges and, somehow that's also lame and that buy-in is old and out of touch and can't string a sentence together and if you saw his roast at The Correspondents dinner or the speech he gave after Russia invaded you would know that ol boys got it going on, he is basically the Carol Burnett of presidents but between better build back better and the green New Deal which another thing it broke my heart that that didn't make it through because the green New Deal could have done so much for this country. It is fucking frustrating. But it's just the way it's handled by the media you know like the build back better it's I mean it's not dead yet I hopefully it'll get through but for all these people who are wringing their hands about you know abortionist it's not just abortions everything else. Democrats have been trying to pass things that will actually protect those babies that get born to make this country a better place for all. But you have to do work you have to actually read the bills you have to do research you have uncomfortable talks with your family you need to call Congress and tell your elected leaders what you want them to do for you Republicans are remarkably good at this, they're really good at mobilizing their base to call their reps and Senators to tell them how they feel about particular bills there are scripts online that you can use and you want to. Customize these things and actually put in your own personal feelings because when you call those places the person who answers the phone they have to log everything you say and they have to present it to the rep emails are really good to see like, 10,000 emails just sitting in an inbox when somebody calls I remember when we were doing all the work for chirp to get the low-power FM radio act through, of which we did a lot of work which I'm sure I'll talk about that some day but we had it be to do a lot of work lobbying Congress and we'd have these call Congress days and, you flood the phone they have to answer those calls and even if the representative there you might even get them on the phone as well. And I remember we were doing it was like some I don't remember the number Sean Campbell could clarify this for me but let's just say it was like one phone call was the equivalent of like 87 emails or something like it's the the calls are just they just way more they just have more weight. I just want to stress this the other side calls all the time and they have to get logged and presented the legislators but you can't call places you don't live in, you can't live in you know Colorado and call McConnell like you have to call your rep in your area and the point of all of this is I don't know women of color have been doing all this heavy lifting. I'm getting Democrats elected and it gets taken for granted they do all the work white women with money will always find a way to get what they need if everything that has happened in the last six years wasn't enough to mobilize women to vote blue it's not going to work now voting of course voting is important but it's not just the voting. So well it is kind of the voting it is kind of the voting because I've voted in every single election that I could vote in and I remember for the first election I could vote in was when it was built in second term was my first election that I could vote in and I had registered to vote when I moved to Chicago but then I moved, between and I didn't realize you had to re-register when you moved and I thought you could just vote anywhere you wanted to so I go into my polling place and they're like you're not registered to vote here, and I remember my roommate getting in the car and driving me from at the time we were living I was living in Wicker Park. And I was registered to vote in Lakeview I remember it was raining so hard, and she was like you want me to drive you to life you to vote and I'm like yeah like I get to vote as a for the president this is my first presidential election and she drove me over there and remember walking to the polling place and it was dripping wet and I'm ever getting to vote for Clinton and it was like. I remember like it was yesterday it was I want to say I was in the answer either on Belmont I think or somewhere near the answer on Belmont was where my polling place was and. Remember voting for Clinton and getting back into the car and feeling a sense of. American Pride that I hadn't felt before maybe haven't felt since - not true I got to vote for Obama and Hillary Clinton but whatever and that was a lot of work. For me to have to vote in my first election. Most people probably would have given up not done it and that's that's a that's a feature not a bug so the thing is that we have to vote. But we also have to vote in every election it's not just it's like no off years crooked media actually has a really amazing program called vote save America where you can adopt an area and they kind of work really hard to get out the vote in every District all over the country and especially in districts where it's particularly nerve-wracking. You know part of the reason why this is all through is because the states are gerrymandered to high hell and Republicans were just better at gaming the system to getting these laws through even though, everything they want to put through a plurality people do not want it is a minority of the people that want the things that was Republicans report forcing through and I'm assuming that one who's listening to me as a Democrat and if you're not I don't. Care if I'm polarizing you were turning you off because if you haven't figured out by now that this is who I am go find another podcast that's what Joe Rogan's for you know so this is because people don't vote in legislative in their in their you know their local elections you need to vote in everything because all of these things come together to this is where we're at is there was a strategic thing that started in the 60s or the 70s under Nixon. Where this was the plan was. Really take over local legislators to try to move forward really conservative efforts and it worked it is working and we're really behind I mean the gerrymandering is a real big problem, you know we have to vote in local elections but short of you getting more. You know voting in everything and making sure that you know having uncomfortable conversations with relatives and actually thinking these things through. You know it's either hitting men with the Fallout 4 being the only. Reason that 100% of unprinted pregnancies or caused by men 100% of them and. You know so do we mandate child support once the paternity is established and they maybe they have to pay for the insurance on both the mom and the child if they get somebody pregnant I mean the there that's the thing men largely are completely left out of this or is it getting legislation passed in codified the gives us childcare and Pre-K and support for caregivers. I mean why would we stop there why wouldn't we also do universal healthcare because that is truly the Crux of olive this is that if child care or of just Healthcare in general was covered. Half of these problems go away my sister my sister Jen she posted a question on Twitter the other day, but you said what do you think it means when someone says that they are socially liberal but fiscally conservative which is like a thing you always hear people say like as if it's like some kind of like. You know like it's playing both sides in the dumbest way and when I looked at that and I thought about it I hadn't really thought about it. You know done not the whole thought experiment but it was you know to me if someone says that they're they're socially liberal but fiscally conservative it says I don't think I'm racist but I don't want to pay for any programs that may benefit poor people who are, largely brown and black people and that really is what we're up against because those who vote keep voting blue. White women do better but really support, these social programs that can actually help our country we spend so much on Military and so little on the actual Americans that live here the constituents to keep this country together democracy is crumbling and we have to not take it for granted. We just can't we can't just assume that this is always going to be here because democracy takes work it's not a thing it's not a set it and forget it. You know I really don't think that they will overturn it I don't 80% of this country doesn't want to overturn it but here's the thing is that what happens when the dog catches the car. What happens if they get this because I don't think they've really thought through what happens when all of a sudden there's hundreds and thousands of extra babies that are unwanted. Or what happens to these you know people that women that died because their pride because they've got you know a child that's going that's killing them inside of them or you know they're 11 year old child that gets raped by an uncle and gets pregnant and. She has to carry that baby I mean seriously this will all be Blood on the right Wing's hands I'm not saying not to fight. I'm saying donate as much as you can to local abortion funds in states with trigger laws and those are states that have laws on the books that will Outlaw abortion the second row is overturned there are 13 of them 13 states rather that have these trigger laws. You have to call Congress you have to protest and if I am wrong and it does get overturned. Then they will not stop their same-sex marriage contraception interracial marriage that's all next so if you're like what does this have to do with business Mary this is a business podcast and. And it's my podcast and I can do what I want with it but. It was only once birth control and row we're settled law that women could take control of their bodies and their future overturning roe has zero to do with protecting children and it has everything to do with controlling women. If you start taking away all of that you lose half the workforce. And that's the truth like if we lose birth control if we lose row then. We would have to stop working there's a lot of women will have to stop working the legit stay home stay at home mom is already becoming less and less of an option the economy is it stands it can't support. Comfortable one income household as the norm more than half of us households are dual income and. Most of that is by necessity so if you take away row and birth control next. Women are just baby factories that we can't afford to support so anyway I this has been. Rough week you know like I mean it's just it's so stupid that we're still talking about this. You know it's so stupid that we are still having to fight for this and. You know I just I'm so tired I'm so tired of it like I'm so tired of feeling shitty most of the time. And you know like. My friend my friend Nicole my friend Nicole put a thing on Facebook that was like I'm angry as I said sometimes I'm angry and sometimes I'm not. As angry and it's like yeah that's basically how I feel too like I'm I'm always a little bit angry and sometimes I'm actually like out of my mind angry and I don't know a single person who wasn't freaked out. And it all feels like end times and I just you know wonder what it's gonna get better. Sorry this is kind of a downer guys but I can't all be uppers and I've got covid brain so that's my soapbox. I love all of you thank you so much for listening call Congress donate money to an abortion fund. Vote in every election in every election. And try to do what you can about gerrymandering there's a lot of work being done to try to unravel gerrymandering, like these like the thing is like we can all sit there and be so mad about babies and laws off my body and fight with your pussy hats on like it keep doing that. But it's the white women that need to recognize that this a lot of this is on us and we need to act like it. Music. Thanks for listening to all up in my lady business it is written by me Mary nisi, it is produced by Christina sorum Williams and Amelia Ruby with softer sounds, it is recorded at the toast and jam offices in Logan Square in Chicago, you can find resources and links from this episode in the show notes at all up in my lady business.com, if you enjoyed this episode and you did Smash that subscribe button and if you're the kind of person that reviews things on the internet please rate and review us wherever you listen to us it really does help people find us follow us on all of your socials and don't forget whatever you do this week do it with your whole ass thanks for listening. Music.