March 9, 2026

T&J Q&A: 20 Questions For 20 Years! Part 3

T&J Q&A: 20 Questions For 20 Years! Part 3
Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
Season 5

Mary and Melissa wrap up the Toast & Jam 20th Anniversary series with a little perspective, and a lot of gratitude. After 20 years in the wedding industry, they reflect on what it means to build a career around something they genuinely love: music, creativity, and making people dance.

Have a question or thought for Mary? Leave us a voicemail for your chance to be featured on the show: https://www.allupinmyladybusiness.com/voicemail/

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode, then come hang with us on Instagram (instagram.com/allupinmyladybusiness) & Threads (threads.com/@allupinmyladybusiness)!

Learn more about A Mary Nisi Production: www.amarynisiproduction.com

Find your next DJ at Toast & Jam: toastandjamdjs.com

Launch your DJ business with the Toast & Jam Lab: lab.toastandjamdjs.com

Support the show

WEBVTT

00:00:15.679 --> 00:00:17.199
My business is your business.

00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:19.280
It's all up in my lady business.

00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:20.320
With me.

00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:21.679
Mary NC.

00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:32.880
Welcome to All Up In My Lady Business today, folks.

00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:37.920
We got Mary and Melissa, the MM of it all, uh coming at you.

00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.759
We're a little I'm a little crispy today.

00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:42.479
I definitely woke up and I was like, I'm hungover.

00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:46.560
And I didn't, I I that was like from fun.

00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:48.320
And I was like, yeah, I guess that's it.

00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:50.159
I didn't have anything else.

00:00:50.479 --> 00:00:51.119
Yeah.

00:00:51.359 --> 00:01:02.000
I mean, it was also a lot of social transacting, like which is also I've come to realize in my old age is uh is more taxing to me than I thought it would ever was.

00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:07.120
I think the alcohol was back when I was drinking, I think the alcohol was making socializing palatable for me.

00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:08.000
Sure.

00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:10.959
Um, but I did have like a bunch of great conversations.

00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:14.719
I definitely got home though and I was like, no more words.

00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:15.840
Yes.

00:01:16.079 --> 00:01:28.239
So uh what we're talking about, folks, is as uh you may or may not know, Toast and Jam celebrated its 20th anniversary on uh November 10th was our actual 20 years that I have been a business.

00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:35.760
And uh we had kind of an epic party last night for back in the day, we started this in 2008.

00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:45.280
So a couple of years after I started the company, we started this thing called the Vendor Bender, which was a party in November for like the all the vendors that we get together with to kind of party at our office.

00:01:45.439 --> 00:02:00.560
And I would raid Trader Joe's and I would get, you know, like a sometimes I get a keg and like, you know, two cases of shitty wine and invite all of our vendor friends and like because when we go to like wedding industry like events, like network, they're always like recreating a wedding.

00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:06.000
They're always like really like pretty and you know, over the top and nice.

00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:09.280
And I kind of always had it as be like, we don't we don't need that for this.

00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:11.360
We just we just need to get together and hang out.

00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.080
Uh and we had it for many years.

00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:16.960
Well, every year that we were in the office on Wabanzia after that.

00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:23.680
And then when we moved from Wicker Park to Logan Square, for some reason that we tried to have one there and it didn't really, it the vibe wasn't great.

00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:30.400
And then we had it one year we had it at Greenhouse Loft, and then the pandemic happened and we just never we hadn't done it for years.

00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:34.800
Uh and so we had the idea for the 20th anniversary to bring the vendor bender back.

00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:40.960
So it was a party for vendors, but I also invited, you know, all the old DJs and friends and whatnot.

00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:44.319
And uh it was uh it was epic.

00:02:44.639 --> 00:02:45.759
It was it was great.

00:02:45.919 --> 00:03:14.319
Like, and I've been to quite a few wedding things since joining uh the team, and there was just such a a different energy and just like like I feel camaraderie when we go to like other events, but there was just something so much more maybe because it was on our turf, but just like really congenial and warm and everybody was just so yeah, like I feel like we weren't I felt we're no, we weren't looking at each other.

00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:22.560
Like I feel like a lot of the times when I go to like wedding industry things, I'm kind of just like looking at people's outfits and you know, like feeling uncomfortable.

00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:27.759
But I guess probably because it was on our turf that we were more we like we were in control of everything, sure, so to speak.

00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:30.240
But it was, you know, just like I don't know.

00:03:30.400 --> 00:03:40.800
I think maybe because we talk about this too and like dance floors being, you know, the best dance floors are you know when all the bodies are kind of rocking together uh and there's not too much space.

00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:46.000
And I feel like there was something about being in our office too that just like you had to get friendly.

00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:54.159
I think you were, you know, really shoulder to shoulder and scooting by people and um yeah, you kind of were you know forced to make friends as it were.

00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:58.800
There was no no escaping the person next to you in the best way possible.

00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.439
You know, it was like the layout was great.

00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:16.720
Uh obviously Joan and friends did such an incredible job and also just enjoyed hanging out with their crew all day, which is you know a rare treat to like just get to sort of, I guess, watch what other people who are awesome at what they do do and uh do their thing.

00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:19.360
And um And they're so good at it.

00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:20.240
They were so good.

00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:26.000
Like at one point at the at the end of the night, we'd forgotten to put out uh the macaron.

00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:30.319
And I was like, Yes, please I will I will take some of these home.

00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:35.279
Um and I couldn't get the cellophane and like Teresa just like walked over and just did it for me.

00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:43.439
It was like the kind of thing where like uh looking for places to help out, like to be of service and just doing it.

00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:47.920
Self-awareness to like be like, okay, this person's trying to do something.

00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:53.279
I'm just gonna do it for them, you know, without asking or volunteering or just no words were exchanged.

00:04:53.360 --> 00:05:01.199
It was just like a seamless takeover of the thing that I was trying and failing to do, and then her sweeping it and and getting the job done.

00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:02.720
So it was very cool.

00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:06.240
Yeah, I uh I or I I had rent I didn't rent.

00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:10.879
I hired uh my friend, my friend Joan Chinquagani, who I've been friends with since she started the company.

00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:20.560
She started her company like five years after I started mine, and I keep thinking that we started at the same time, but we didn't just because she I she's just been around me a lot in the years that she started her company.

00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:26.560
But um, she's just such a she's I I've never hired a planner on that level for something.

00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:29.439
And it was, she's just it was so good.

00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:32.319
Like she kept me, you know, I was I kept giving her compliments.

00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:33.439
She's like, keep complimenting me.

00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:35.120
I'm like, I'm you're so good at your job.

00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:37.199
Like you should know how good you are.

00:05:37.439 --> 00:05:44.480
And she's like, I'm really good at listening to what people say and interpreting what they actually want.

00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:45.439
Mm-hmm.

00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:48.399
And that is a fucking gift.

00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:49.040
It is.

00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:54.560
I think I I think I do that, but I do it differently, you know, like I don't do it in that way.

00:05:55.040 --> 00:06:01.759
Yeah, her methodology is is and medium is is different than yours, but I you know, I think you are similarly gifted in that fashion.

00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:02.879
Mine spreadsheets.

00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:04.720
Oh, that's not all you got.

00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:06.639
You got more than spreadsheets, girl.

00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:10.000
But yeah, so no, that was that was super fun to see.

00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:22.399
And also Stephanie from Stems, and I I just put my well, I put them in water last night, but I actually just did it nicely um before our call and put the flowers on my dining room table.

00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:27.199
And we grabbed an extra for the sitter last night and gave her flowers to take home.

00:06:27.279 --> 00:06:28.480
So spreading love.

00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:44.879
Yeah, so we um so when we were planning the party out, I decided instead of doing the Trader Joe's of it all, uh I actually got real vendors to like help out and a lot of people sponsored, like gave me great deals or didn't charge, and it was like magical in that way.

00:06:44.959 --> 00:06:54.720
But um, we had Big Delicious Planet that had done uh some of the catering, and we had and my friend Stephanie Stopcahoon's uh Flowers by Stem uh was also having her 20th anniversary.

00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:58.160
So we had a bouquet bar where we were giving away bouquets of flowers.

00:06:59.120 --> 00:06:59.839
So cute.

00:07:00.079 --> 00:07:07.279
We got there's a company called High Minded Events that do like cannabis uh dispensing at parties.

00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:08.319
Very excited.

00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:12.079
John told me, he's like, I don't know if I should have been driving home last night.

00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:15.040
I was like, oh I mean, we made it, I guess.

00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:16.399
Let's not do that again.

00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:24.560
But uh we got a weed sponsor, Rhythm Cannabis donated all of the vape cartridges and the weed drinks.

00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:29.839
Uh and so we had this weed bar, and then um what else did we have?

00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:35.920
We had obviously we you know we had our our live music, um the the tanks.

00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:40.959
Um so many people were surprised that they were actually tanks, and I was just like, that's right.

00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:43.279
When did you think we were gonna stop surprising you?

00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:43.680
You know?

00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:48.959
Yeah, I had I had t-shirts made uh for the party that I'm actually wearing mine.

00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:53.680
If there's if we ever do if we ever do want I I haven't taken it off yet since uh last night.

00:07:54.639 --> 00:07:57.839
But yeah, as you can see, it's a sweet tuxedo.

00:07:58.160 --> 00:07:59.600
Super sweet tuxedo.

00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:05.680
Uh and uh Melissa and I designed it over um over Zoom.

00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:19.199
We took the we yeah, we had a Zoom and uh and uh then the back has got all of the sponsors that we designed it in the uh in the manner of a of like the center of a blue note vinyl.

00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:21.120
Uh if you can kind of see it.

00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:22.720
Anyway, this is really bad video.

00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:26.160
This is really bad podcast to put to throw so many visuals into it.

00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:35.840
But imagine a blue note, and instead of all of the the notes about the you know, musicians, the studio musicians, it says the people that we that helped us out with the party.

00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:39.360
That helped us out that made it made it all possible and amazing.

00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:46.399
But I definitely feel like a personal highlight was uh Thundercat by the bread and butter band.

00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:47.600
Nearly lost my mind.

00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:53.360
And I really wish there had been more space or at least more other people that were as excited about it.

00:08:54.240 --> 00:09:08.799
So I so I when I was imagining the party, so we've been this year we added live music to our services, and uh our live music guy is this guy, Quinn Kirschhner, who is just so good.

00:09:09.279 --> 00:09:12.799
Constantly figuring out how actually kind of famous he is.

00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.240
Like it's weird.

00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:22.559
Like I, you know, uh I didn't know of him, of course, until he started um filling, you know, this role at the company.

00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:27.360
And and then every time I'm with him, I'm like, oh, oh, really?

00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:32.080
You know, well, and like the the bass player that was playing.

00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:34.080
So we I I had him assemble this band.

00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:39.360
I was like, I want I have this, I feel like whenever we get like music for weddings, it's great.

00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:42.960
Like do we get like a lot of trios, like string quartets and jazz trios.

00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:46.879
But like I feel like I want to hear like cooler covers.

00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:58.799
Like I feel like there's I basically want like I wanted like a yacht rock kind of 70s AM gold, you know, just good vibes, funky songs to kind of, you know, play in the background.

00:09:58.960 --> 00:09:59.200
Yes.

00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:05.039
Um, and this is like I kind of want to start promoting this band, but I didn't know how to promote it without.

00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:07.440
I'm like, well, let me just throw it at them at the party.

00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:09.919
And if it doesn't, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:12.559
But like if it does work, it could be amazing.

00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:16.000
And they put they were so good.

00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:16.879
So good.

00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:22.159
My sister and someone else she was talking to are like, this is the band I want to play my funeral.

00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:22.559
Was it you?

00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:23.120
It was me.

00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:24.240
Hi, it was me.

00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:26.879
We're like, you're already booked.

00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:31.519
Uh just just know you'll find out the date at some later time, but you'll need to be there.

00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:40.240
Uh, because they I mean what I loved is that they just played songs into each other, you know, and they kind of it was like they were playing in D, like it was like DJing.

00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:43.919
It was like the the songs were going into each other and they kind of just all work together.

00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:51.120
The bass player is this guy, Matt Eulery, who we have like 80 million of his records like in rotation at chirp.

00:10:51.200 --> 00:11:00.320
And I'm like, okay, I I think I aimed it a little high with this band, but everybody was losing their mind at how good the band was.

00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:04.559
It was really truly so spectacular.

00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:14.000
And uh Cole, who's doing the singing and the keyboards, like just like being able to do those like high falsettos and like it was what Michael, they did it like a Michael McDonald song, right?

00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:14.720
Like what a fool.

00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:19.600
Well, they did What a Fool Believes, but it's a Doobie Brothers song, but it's Michael McDonald, it's Michael McDonald on the vocals.

00:11:19.679 --> 00:11:20.159
But yes, go on.

00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:20.639
Got it.

00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:27.679
So yeah, so and just being able to like do that in a way that doesn't feel it didn't feel like um kind of like an impersonation.

00:11:27.919 --> 00:11:28.159
Right.

00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:39.519
It was still had like that soul, but it was clearly his voice, but then also had that, you know, reminiscent the echoes of the original that made it, you know, feel like if I closed my eyes.

00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:40.399
Yeah.

00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:55.600
Um, and uh and also just the proximity, like just being able to be so close to them and like actually see the I took a lot of video of uh Cole playing, you know, like just watching on that cool keyboard that he had.

00:11:55.679 --> 00:12:01.279
And like you just don't get that kind of proximity, you know, to people who are this good at what they do.

00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:02.639
And they're so good.

00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:06.639
Like these guys are like hired guns that like do a lot of really cool stuff.

00:12:06.799 --> 00:12:17.759
So I'm I'm very I feel incredible that they came and they slayed, and then we then we went right into the DJs after them and the and we had a sax player that was playing along with the DJ.

00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:18.960
I never got his name.

00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:22.720
Do you know which sax player of our I don't expertise in?

00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:24.159
This just happened to me last week.

00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:30.000
I gotta find that out because I was like, when I picture this, this is what this is what it is.

00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:39.519
Like Matt was telling me too that he was kind of he was like shark sharking, you know, through the audience and uh or the the crowd.

00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:44.799
And um there was some people from BDP like sort of back in the the beverage kitchen area.

00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:49.840
And then he was just going back there and like like honking sex with them.

00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:54.879
Like just like just like, you know, you're you're not up front, like so.

00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:56.240
I'm you're not getting out of this.

00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:58.639
Everybody, everybody's getting a little sax in the face.

00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:03.600
Everyone's getting some saxing tonight, and uh, and they were laughing and and it was funny.

00:13:03.679 --> 00:13:15.600
But he was just so engaging and in this like same way I feel like our DJs are where it's like you're you're included, you're involved, but just in this way that's not, you know, like standard.

00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:17.759
I'm yelling at you to get on a dance floor.

00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.960
It's like try to resist getting on my dance floor, I dare you.

00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:26.960
And that's kind of like what you know, the sax was like you you think you're not into this, but I'm gonna prove to you.

00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:27.440
Yeah.

00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:33.120
And it was by the time I get out of here that uh you you will want sax in your life.

00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:34.320
Uh it was also great.

00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:36.159
We had Rika in the photo booth.

00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:40.000
Rika in the photo booth, and she's just a charmer and a half.

00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:44.240
I mean, it just I was able to see like the full, like how great the DJs were.

00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:46.080
Frederick dancing his little ass off.

00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:53.519
And I mean, I feel like we're really is this lame podcasting to talk about a party that they weren't at and just be like, What I throw good parties.

00:13:54.639 --> 00:14:04.480
But I I will say though that like, you know, the planning of this of this party, like it was incredible to have Joan because I she made everything went perfectly and flawlessly.

00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:05.200
Totally.

00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:08.080
But through the planning process, I got really nervous.

00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:10.799
Like I tried to cancel the party in March.

00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:14.639
We started planning in January and like right and we were gonna do it at a venue.

00:14:14.799 --> 00:14:19.279
Initially, we're gonna try to have it at Sleeping Village, which is like a rock club in Avondale here in Chicago.

00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:22.159
Thank you for to them for being willing to host us.

00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:34.159
Yeah, it was I really wanted to do it there, but I but in March, when like the fascism was coming on so like thick, I was like, you know, and the when Elon Musk and Doge were like were like closing everything.

00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:36.879
Doesn't that feel like that was 14 years ago?

00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:43.200
I this year, the last 16, uh, you know, like I guess 12.

00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:44.240
How many years has it been?

00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:45.440
See, I don't even remember.

00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:47.519
No, it's 12 because my kid is 12.

00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:49.440
Anyway, too long.

00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:54.000
Um, but it definitely feels like this year was both it's like the longest, shortest time.

00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:55.919
Like it feels like a million years ago.

00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.320
And also like I blinked and the year was over.

00:14:58.399 --> 00:14:59.039
So yeah.

00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:08.879
So when but when Doge was doing all of its shit in, you know, February and March, just like take you know, dismantling this the Department of Education and you know, all of the all of the resources.

00:15:10.159 --> 00:15:17.840
Well, I well, and not only that, but I was also like, you know, these things are gonna start like coming, you know, to to fruition come like Q3.

00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:23.519
And I was like, you know, I'm like, I have a feeling that like September, I think things are gonna fall apart.

00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:29.360
And I don't want to like, if you know, the worlds fall apart, I don't want to like lose a deposit on this venue.

00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:34.159
And I don't want to like also have a party and make it seem like I'm fiddling while Rome burns.

00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:36.159
Uh, if things are going poorly.

00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:42.320
Joan was like, Mary, even if that's happens, you're still we're still gonna need joy and happy things in the world and blah, blah, blah.

00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:45.039
And I'm like, you know, okay, you're right.

00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:51.840
I will say though that I was right that the world is fucking collapsing and that uh, you know, yes.

00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:55.600
But the uh Joan is also right that we also still need joy.

00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:56.000
Yeah.

00:15:56.159 --> 00:16:00.080
Um, and uh the smilestone was not something that would have been.

00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:06.720
But it also just the party itself kind of wrestled up so many like weird feelings inside of me.

00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:14.000
You know, like the, you know, like looking back at everything, you know, and kind of oh yeah, all the DJs that worked here.

00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:16.720
Like there's so many people who have worked for me over the years.

00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:27.519
So I was going through like old contracts and old, you know, numbers of like what, you know, all the DJs have worked for me and like, you know, just how COVID kind of just stopped everything.

00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:32.080
And like people kind of disappeared out of my life and I disappeared out of theirs.

00:16:32.240 --> 00:16:45.279
And like there's a lot of people I didn't get any kind of weird, like any word clo, like any closure or even like like a like even acknowledgement that like this that our relationship as me as their boss or you know, whatever.

00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:46.159
It was weird.

00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:56.000
And it, you know, and it brought up, you know, bad management decisions that I made over the years, or you know, things that I didn't handle as great as I could.

00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:29.920
Um and I take all the blame for these things, you know, like I I kind of absorb it all and just sort of assume that I'm the you carry it heavily on your shoulders, and I'm my constant refrain to you is always anybody that knows you knows that you're making the best decisions you can with the information, you know, that you have the time and you're always trying to make the best decision for the longevity of the business and for, you know, the people that work there, because if the business doesn't succeed, there is no place for those people to work.

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:44.720
So, you know, you really you you have the burden of thinking about the big picture, and you know, people aren't that don't have that perspective aren't always the greatest at seeing how they don't fit into the big picture sometimes.

00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:45.839
So, you know.

00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:55.200
Well, but also it's like, you know, I think to myself, like, well, I own the business, I'm the boss, like I, in theory, make my money off of them.

00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:57.200
You know, I don't want to complain to them.

00:17:57.279 --> 00:17:59.759
I don't I don't want to like tell them how bad it is.

00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:05.200
I don't wanna because like, you know, like they're I'm not they're I'm not they're not paying me to complain to them.

00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:06.000
No.

00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:10.000
And so I think it I think that kind of It's lonely at the top.

00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.200
Yeah, it's lonely at the top.

00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:12.000
It truly is.

00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:16.000
And I, you know, and I I do think that women get it a little differently than men do.

00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:16.799
I agree.

00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:27.279
Um and I didn't I don't think that I've been in an like, I guess in my own experience, had felt that quite as strongly um because the interior design world, of course, is very female dominated.

00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:32.720
And so I think there's just a real expectation that, you know, it's dominantly white blonde ladies.

00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:36.640
So, you know, that's kind of the expectation there.

00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:52.400
Um where here and you know, with DJing in general, and also just successful female entrepreneurs, everybody kind of has a different lens that they're looking through that isn't always super nice or helpful or productive.

00:18:52.720 --> 00:19:00.160
And there's also comp there's weird competition and people pitting people against each other, and like, you know, and I I don't deal well with that.

00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:06.559
I'd rather like have friend ours and like I don't know, just there's always a bit enough work to go around.

00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:08.720
Yeah, you could tell last night for sure.

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:18.079
Like that's I definitely had that feeling, and I could tell that these were people that sort of I guess made it through your filter in a lot of ways because they were all the good ones.

00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:19.119
The good ones.

00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:21.839
Um there were some good ones that were missing.

00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:23.599
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna 100%.

00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:41.759
Not everyone could make it that that we would have loved to have there, but you know, just talking to like Scott from Cage and um, you know, who's always just such a delightful um person, and you know, Jana, who's not as direct, uh, you know, selling the same service, um, but just like, you know, so supportive.

00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:46.720
And then your friend uh Kate, who's just like the light of Kate.

00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:47.359
Katie Kevin.

00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:48.240
Oh, Katie Kamashev.

00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:49.359
Yeah, Katie Tomashewski.

00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:53.119
Big, she's uh been on this on this podcast a couple times.

00:19:53.359 --> 00:20:23.759
Yes, she is like we were just la like like sort of savoring the like the team Mary of it all, just like this great little, you know, network of um people that know you so well and are able to, you know, just kind of I guess be there for you through the the heavier times since you can't have like a peer-to-peer, you know, somebody sharing the the troubles and stuff because you can't filter that down to the DJs, but you have this amazing network of uh powerful ladies with great uh perspective and intention.

00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:26.240
It's nice to see that around you.

00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:27.519
So thank you.

00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:32.319
I I mean I do and the thing is is that like I do have amazing people in my life.

00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:41.519
And I think it's great that I was able to invite my like my quote unquote competitors, you know, like Scott and Tyler from Cajun Aquarium and Daniel from Lunic.

00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:45.599
Um like having, you know, like loving the bread and butter band.

00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:46.160
Yeah.

00:20:47.359 --> 00:20:48.720
The bread and butter band was so good.

00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:52.160
I can't even I might just become like a band leader now at this point.

00:20:52.400 --> 00:21:00.079
But uh, you know, it's just that I can have my competitors there in my office and I don't I'm not worried about them stealing my secrets.

00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:09.279
There was a point, you know, so earlier on in the day I got my hair and makeup done for the party, and the makeup artist was like, what are you looking forward to most about tonight?

00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:15.279
And it's like, you know, I mean, ice was roving in Logan Square up until, you know, three days ago.

00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:18.559
I mean, I just I was having like a lot of anxiety.

00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.640
I mean, you know, this was like planning another wedding.

00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:27.440
It was bringing up all these weird emotions and you know, making me second guess, you know, like, am I any good at this?

00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:31.599
You know, just there's just the dumb imposter syndrome that really kind of plagues me.

00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:36.960
Um, and probably every other woman on that's just I'm not gonna push my shit on other people.

00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:39.519
I have uh these this problem with imposter syndrome.

00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:44.559
And uh once I gave my speech, I could then start doing stuff.

00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:47.039
And uh I hit the vape bar pretty hard.

00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:50.880
Uh and uh and then And the tamales.

00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:53.359
And oh my oh that was the other surprise we didn't talk about.

00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:59.839
Oh, I hired Cla I hired Claudio, this the tamales guy that uh that come well when I was younger.

00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:05.519
And went to bars, he would show up at the bar at like, you know, midnight, like fucking Santa Claus.

00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:06.960
And you're drunk.

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:11.519
And I have, I have eaten more of his tamales than I've forgotten than I have eaten.

00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.039
I mean, so many tamales.

00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:19.039
And I've and I've wanted to hire him to cut for a party for years, but like I've never had the right party.

00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:22.559
I tried to get him for our wedding, but he wasn't available like on for our wedding.

00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:24.480
You know, that was 14 years ago.

00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:25.200
Yeah.

00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:29.519
But I, especially after the pandemic, I kept trying to like get him into like Whippa.

00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:32.799
When I was doing the events for Whippa, I was like, we should get that tamale.

00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:36.240
And everyone's like, I don't think so, Mary.

00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:46.160
And so being able to uh hire Claudio, the tamales guy, um, to come in the tamale, tamale, tamales, like giving them out to everybody.

00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:53.440
And it's what's funny is I I I had to order, I think I'd had to buy what they do it on per person.

00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:56.880
And I I think I had to, I think I bought 750 tamales.

00:22:57.279 --> 00:22:57.759
Wow.

00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:00.160
And I'm like, I'm going to be eating tamales.

00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:01.599
And that was their minimum order.

00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:01.920
Yeah.

00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:03.039
And or it was a lot.

00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:06.000
It maybe it was, it maybe wasn't so it was it was a ton.

00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:07.039
It was well over.

00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:09.680
It was like 300 tamales I had to buy at least.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.079
Um and I'm like, I'm going to be eating tamales for the rest of my life.

00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:15.519
They were, they went immediately.

00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:15.920
Yeah.

00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:17.039
Like they were gone.

00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:17.839
Yes.

00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:24.400
And uh the when I when he when Claudio finally got to me, his son was like being his little wingman.

00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:25.119
It was so great.

00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:27.920
Like literally, like his arm was out with bags of tamales.

00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:31.279
Like and uh and I'm like wings of tamales.

00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:31.680
Exactly.

00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:33.279
They're like opening up a trench coat.

00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:35.680
And he's got like, you know, what can I interest you in?

00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:37.200
Uh cheese.

00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:41.680
Salsa verde, salsa red, roja.

00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:45.519
Um, and uh he I was like, hi, this is my party.

00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:47.359
Like I'm I'm the person that that hired you.

00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:50.079
And they're like, oh my god, they're like, thank you so much, especially right now.

00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:52.160
Like, you know, things are really scary.

00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:54.079
We don't, we have we've lost a lot of income.

00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:57.119
So we're really grateful that you hired us for this party.

00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:02.079
So anybody, if you guys are looking for a fucking everyone is excited.

00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:05.680
The people who knew who he was were looking at me like I was a fucking genius.

00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:09.599
They were like, You got the tamale guy to come to this party.

00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:10.559
And I'm like, Yeah.

00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:10.880
Yeah.

00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:15.119
I mean, also, you know, we've been in business for 20 years in Logan Square.

00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:16.799
Yeah, we got the we got the tamale guy.

00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:19.359
It makes it makes sense that I got Claudio the tamale guy.

00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:25.440
Uh, but he they were very like, you know, especially like right now, like we're really, so if you guys are everyone was psyched.

00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:27.839
There's and I had some for breakfast today.

00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:30.640
I actually I only I was able to steal one bag.

00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:31.920
I got one bag of tamales.

00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:35.920
And so I I had them for breakfast today, and it was like tasting my youth.

00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:37.039
Yes, I love it.

00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:42.240
I had never had one before, even though I'd been in the room with uh Claudio many times.

00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:53.119
I'm I was saying to um someone else at the party last night that I was too scared to tamale um and that that basically uh was my whole personality.

00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:56.079
Um that I that I am too scared to tamale.

00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:02.079
Uh and uh just I don't know, something about like I just never first of all it was like tamale.

00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:04.400
Like, you know, I didn't have like that wasn't something.

00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:05.920
Is there gluten at tamale?

00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:07.279
No gluten and tamales.

00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:07.759
Okay.

00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:09.440
Bless blissfully.

00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:17.279
Uh but Matt got them last night and I had a tamale and it was dynamite and now you know I'm regretting all of my decisions that the times.

00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:20.240
Yeah, I will say though I had to tamale and I didn't do it.

00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:23.599
We're hiring we're hiring Claudio for every party we're ever having for the rest of all.

00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:24.240
That's right.

00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:26.160
So don't don't miss it next time, people.

00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:31.119
But anyway, after I finally did my speech, I got really high.

00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:34.799
Uh on a crate in in uh in Mary Jane's.

00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:37.839
I stood on my crate and I and I and I broke the crate.

00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:38.960
But it was cute.

00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:54.640
Um grace and handling the fact that the crate was cracking you while you're trying to stay composed and deliver this really emotional and sincere message.

00:25:55.680 --> 00:25:58.799
But when I was getting my multifaceted people, she's multi-faceted.

00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:08.160
Yeah, or like, or no, really, it's less than a multifaceted and more that like I came here to do this thing, and even if I destroy this crate, I'm going to like the show must go on.

00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:15.039
I'm going to finish this toast and I'm not going to let this part of it like I mean, that's that's really it's my it's my improv training that coached me through that moment.

00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:15.680
Definitely.

00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:24.960
But uh I when I was getting my hair done and she the one asked me like what I'm most excited for for the party, and I was like, I just want it to be over.

00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:27.680
Like I just at this point, I'm I just want it to be done.

00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:30.079
I had been freaking out about it for so long.

00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:32.559
And um, and I just wanted it to be over.

00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.400
Like I really didn't think I was gonna have fun.

00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:37.839
I thought I was going to just be a nervous ball of shit the whole night.

00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:46.480
And uh, and then after the speech was over, and I I was standing outside and I was eating Jana's, Jana gave me some of her tamales.

00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:49.839
I'm I was eating Jana's tamales.

00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:52.880
Jana Kinsman from Doodle Booth and Baikabee.

00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:54.640
Jana is my BKP mentor.

00:26:54.720 --> 00:26:56.079
She's also been on this podcast before.

00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:03.599
And then she also um does these hand-drawn, like hand, it was almost like a hand-drawn photo booth and um things that she does at weddings as well.

00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:05.440
So she crosses into so many of my worlds.

00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:11.039
But I I had a moment where I was like, oh my God, I I have everything I've ever wanted.

00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:17.039
Like it was, it was very, it was like, all I do is focus on what I don't have.

00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:19.440
And I have like everything I wanted.

00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:27.599
I'm like, I'm I have a an amazing career that has lasted 20 years, which is a feat that only 20% of businesses even get to.

00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:38.079
I am in a really fun industry that is filled with really creative and fun, amazing people that all respect what I bring to the table.

00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:43.759
I have really amazing employees that believe in the mission that we are putting out there.

00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:48.079
I have a job technically in the music industry, which was the only thing I ever wanted.

00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:50.480
Like was like the only thing that I thought I could do.

00:27:50.799 --> 00:28:01.920
I have you, I finally have you, you know, like a person that like is like absolutely like understands my vision and like can help me actually do the things I want to do.

00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:06.400
I've got a great husband who gave also gave a cute little speech before I wonderful speech.

00:28:06.559 --> 00:28:07.759
What a sweetheart.

00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:08.640
I loved it.

00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:17.839
And uh my little boy, and I don't know, it just was like a moment of clarity where I was like, I was like, wow, I kind of I've I've like kind of made it.

00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:20.640
And I and that and I've had like gl like glimmers of that.

00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:24.880
Like, you know, like I live in a beautiful house in a great neighborhood with great in a great town.

00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:26.079
I love living in Evanston.

00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:29.039
I've got some really good friends that I've made since I've been up here.

00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:33.920
And I've been like, ugh and I can't even enjoy how I have the things I want because of the fascism.

00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:36.720
Like I've really, I've really let that bum me out.

00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:45.119
And I mean, I don't I don't think I can I don't think I can un ring that bell until the fascism is over or I move to Panama.

00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:46.160
But I don't know.

00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:50.160
I'm I think I need to um be grateful for what I got.

00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:52.400
And uh I mean I just I don't know.

00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:54.000
I it's like it it's interesting.

00:28:54.079 --> 00:29:02.559
It's like my my brother has has started a business and he oftentimes, you know, he's he just started his like five years ago, maybe at most, maybe not even that long.

00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:08.400
And um, you know, and he like whenever I'm complaining about work, he's always like, but you you have everything.

00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:10.400
And I'm like, Yeah, Chris, guess what?

00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:14.559
When you have like, you know, success and stuff, it actually doesn't fill the hole.

00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.680
It actually like you just kind of keep wanting more.

00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:24.160
And I was kind of saying that in a like, isn't that a universal thing that we all just kind of, you know, like we're never satisfied?

00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:26.960
Like, and then I'm like, oh wait, maybe I'm just a Skylar sister.

00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.720
Wait, have you seen Hamilton?

00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:29.680
No.

00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:30.400
Oh.

00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:41.519
My Hamelheads out there will know what I'm talking about, but there's a there's a song in in Hamilton where she where like the oldest Skylar sister is talking about how she'll never be satisfied.

00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:54.000
She's always kind of looking for more, and that's and I think that there's something to be said for that to like always be trying to innovate and change and still be doing, you know, not just wallowing in the thing you're good at, but also, you know, then you get afraid of it disappearing.

00:29:54.160 --> 00:30:05.279
That's the I think that might be the real, the real like motherfucker of success is that once you have it, you're perpetually fearing that it's gonna go away, even though all p signs point to, you know.

00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.680
Because it's just a human condition, you know.

00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:14.240
I think there are a lot of people, entrepreneurs are not, you know, it's just kind of based on your your values, right?

00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:21.119
Like I don't have my own business, but I have like the world's best husband and uh a cool kid and stuff like that.

00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:28.640
And you know, it's like even that measure of, you know, that's this I feel so grateful uh for those things.

00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:37.359
And so I feel like my my burden is I can't complain about anything else because I totally nailed that, you know, aspect of my life.

00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:38.319
Like I can't be.

00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:45.839
Like you get one thing, you get one thing that's good, and then like everything else to take the table scraps.

00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:47.200
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:49.359
So, you know, I think that that's totally fair.

00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:51.119
But I think it's what you do with it, right?

00:30:51.200 --> 00:31:01.440
Like you show gratitude for what you, you know, do have and recognize that literally no day is guaranteed to us, and we just live, you know, the best that we can.

00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:14.079
And I think when it comes to like, you know, toast and jam and longevity and like all of that stuff, like because the spirit of this business, the core of it, is really just reflecting people back to themselves on their dance floors.

00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:33.519
Like, you know, there isn't a gimmick to this, there isn't something that's ever going to age as long as we have, you know, sincere, dedicated talent and and DJs and people that can do that for their couples, then Toast and Jam will continue to rage on, you know.

00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:41.200
And that's what makes me so excited about, you know, the the the people that have joined recently and their just energy, right?

00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:48.640
Like when you have that sort of fresh uh enthusiasm and just you know, we really feel like you get it.

00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:58.640
And uh yeah, Frederick Rico, he's like such a delight, so much fun like talking to him last night, and he always compliments my outfits or fits as the kids say.

00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:06.079
Uh and uh my daughter told me I looked like a a flight attendant the other day, and I was like, Rico would like this outfit.

00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:10.720
So it's not for you, Evelyn.

00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:11.920
It's not for you.

00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:27.440
Yeah, um, but just you know, just loving seeing that there is, you know, I I guess it's kind of my first time being around when we've hired additional people and just seeing like there is no limit, you know, to this.

00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:31.200
There continue to be people who get this and want this.

00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:34.000
And but do you say that the limit does not exist?

00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:43.200
To yeah, the people that I think can get it and and recognize it, what we're trying, you know, to genuinely achieve for the the people.

00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:45.519
Have you have you seen Mean Girls?

00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:46.079
No.

00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:46.559
Okay.

00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:49.200
I'm 0 for two on this point with dumb references.

00:32:50.000 --> 00:33:00.160
Yeah, if it's not a baking show or um, yeah, some type of competition talent-based uh program, then like like, yeah, no.

00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:03.519
Have you seen the recent season of Inkmaster?

00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:04.480
No, no.

00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:05.839
Is that a tattoo show?

00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:06.960
Yes, it is.

00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:09.839
No, I reality has never been my bag.

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:16.079
Like, I I will tell you, like, I feel like Love It Or Leave It, which is is it hooth to talk about other podcasts when you're on a podcast?

00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:26.000
Uh Love It or Leave It is uh Melissa and I have a shared love of John Lovett and Love It or Leave It, the a podcast that I've seen live four or five times.

00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:27.680
I love, I love that podcast.

00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:31.119
It's been kind of a bummer lately, but I guess the news is kind of a bummer.

00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:38.240
But uh John Lovett started a whole second podcast of about like a Bravo, Bravo related like interviews with Bravo people.

00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:45.519
My friend Shiaska, who's also been on this podcast, is in Vegas right now at BravoCon.

00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:46.079
Wow.

00:33:46.319 --> 00:33:47.599
Well, I learned two things.

00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:50.640
One, there are people that do that, and there's BravoCon.

00:33:50.799 --> 00:33:51.039
Yeah.

00:33:51.759 --> 00:33:57.599
I mean, I don't know if it's just like Vanderpump rules people in Summerhouse Santa Monica, like doing selfies.

00:33:57.759 --> 00:33:58.319
I don't know.

00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:02.559
Uh is that Summerhouse Santa Monica an actual show or is that a restaurant?

00:34:02.799 --> 00:34:07.839
Anyway, anyway, my point is is that uh yes, we're going back to the limit not existing.

00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:08.320
Yes.

00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:14.079
I think I'm realizing that more and more that we have more control over our fates than we, you know, with the business and whatnot.

00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:19.039
Just, you know, like adding, adding the live music was, you know, kind of a big step.

00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:25.199
And then, you know, the putting together the bread and butter band where I was like, you know, I just want you to play cool vibes.

00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:29.760
It just, you know, and like I'm like, oh, I've got a band playing my favorite type of music.

00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:33.920
You know, I'm got like, you know, of all these amazing people.

00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:36.400
I don't know, it just last night was very it was good.

00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:37.599
It was great.

00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:57.840
And I loved that like it was was just kind of doing day-to-day stuff, you know, all right up, you know, until and then it was just like this, you know, awesome thing that everybody came together to to pull off Renny, running circles around us, getting the office lit up and looking spectacular and the photo booth and all that stuff.

00:34:57.920 --> 00:35:08.000
So anyway, it just was definitely felt like we've been through a lot of various pain points over the past couple of years to try to get through to where we want to be.

00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:22.400
Last night was felt very much like a culmination of the, you know, the proof of concept that we can't have the version of the company that you envision, um, and that we still have, you know, areas to improve and room to grow.

00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:29.679
Ability to do that seems very realistic, just given the energy that I feel like we have flowing through the team right now.

00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:31.360
So that's very exciting to me.

00:35:31.519 --> 00:35:35.519
And and excites me because I talk to a lot of people who hire us.

00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:44.239
And just having that, you know, excitement on their behalf for the experience that they're gonna have feels really, you know, just makes my job so much easier.

00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:44.639
Mm-hmm.

00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:45.039
Yeah.

00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:51.760
And, you know, and even just having all the vendors there last night was also very like, yes, you know, like seeing like, oh, we have a real thing.

00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:56.639
We have an office and we've had you know, yeah, it was really like the offices coming out party last night.

00:35:57.039 --> 00:36:01.599
Like just, you know, uh because you don't really see much in those front doors.

00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:16.079
So but I also think that like, you know, this job is in theory a very social job because you're DJing weddings, but you also it's a very lonely job because you do all the you do all of it by yourself and then you go and do it and you're just behind a table the whole time, which is I kind of my preferred place at parties is actually behind the table.

00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:18.960
I would always rather be working a party than attending it.

00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:22.000
Uh I actually danced last night, which I never do.

00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:23.840
I never I never go dancing.

00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:25.280
And I also am very embarrassed.

00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:29.039
I feel I'm very self-conscious about my dancing, and uh I know it's dumb.

00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:34.639
I I mean I dance behind the table, but I very rarely find myself in a in a dancing where I'm actually dancing.

00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:35.280
Yeah.

00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:37.280
So that was cool to be a part of that.

00:36:37.840 --> 00:36:40.480
The only time I'm not self-conscious.

00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:46.559
You know, where it's just like I can't help how that this I'm compelled, you know, to move.

00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:48.400
Like I'm not gonna try to stop it.

00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:48.960
Yeah.

00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:54.880
No, I I uh I deal with it basically, everybody multiple times.

00:36:55.039 --> 00:37:00.400
I was the only one like in front of the DJ dancing like a dork, and you know, it's like Well, they were doing such a great job.

00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:11.199
I mean, like, so I guess like what is the the like, you know, to anybody who's bored out of their mind listening to us talk about a party.

00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:13.840
Uh I mean, not sorry at all.

00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:18.880
I I just want to make sure that I'm not just uh humble bragging about how great my party was.

00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:27.920
But I do think that, you know, like it it was kind of the culmination of 20 years, you know, like had people that, you know, helped me out.

00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:29.519
Joan did such a great job.

00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:56.400
I got to talk about why I do this and you know, and I think that I think it's part of the reason why I love doing the online, the on-air pledge drives um for the radio station is because, you know, like when we're on when I'm on air and I'm doing like pitching and getting people and people come and they like I ask people on the microphone to give money and then they do, and then I get an email that says like Wendy in, you know, Palmer Square donated$25 or whatever.

00:37:56.480 --> 00:38:09.760
And it's like like seeing people do, you know, kind of remind you on why you do it, you know, because in many ways, you this is a very thankless job, you know all too well, you know, how running a company and dealing with employees and things like that.

00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:18.719
And so being able to like get and actually see the fruits of your labor is really rewarding, and especially when you work in the party world, like get and have a good party.

00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:19.920
It was truly terrific.

00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:21.760
I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:29.760
Uh Matt and I both popped the advice before we went to bed last night because we knew our bones would be extra rickety um this morning.

00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:39.440
Yeah, I was gonna like re- you know, like look at the questions again, and of course that was a dumb thing to have to try to put on myself um this past week.

00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:51.920
But, you know, the thing you're most proud of about the business you've built, would that feel like a nice way to tie up this week's episode or or do we just make this one about the party?

00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:57.039
What I'm most proud of about the business, you know, that you built.

00:38:57.679 --> 00:39:09.679
Yeah, well, I mean, I I do think that one of the th I think the thing I'm most proud of with this business is, you know, for the first three years or the first two years, it was only women that worked for me.

00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:13.599
And then uh I let one guy in, Dustin, who was great.

00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:18.000
He worked, he was the sole guy for eight years, and then I added another guy, Daniel.

00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:22.320
And so then he was they were the only two guys for another three years.

00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:31.840
And then in like 2018, it looks like I started adding like Chris and uh Tim and they're just other guys kind of came in, Anthony.

00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:35.280
And uh, but it was it's always been mostly women.

00:39:35.519 --> 00:39:43.199
And with very few exceptions, most of the women that came to work for me had never DJed a dance party, much less a wedding.

00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.000
Like they had like little, I mean they had to have some interest in music.

00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:54.400
It wasn't like, you know, it was just somebody that I picked off the street, but it was like, you know, people that and and they were a lot of times when I would be like, hey, you should, you should try, you should come work for me.

00:39:54.559 --> 00:39:55.280
Like, I can't do that.

00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:55.840
I can't do that.

00:39:55.920 --> 00:39:58.239
And then they won up being like the greatest DJ I've ever had.

00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:12.960
It's like it's more because I mean, I feel like in many ways, like the personality of the person is like if they're able to, if they seem like they're hardworking, the kind of people that can anticipate need that can come over and open the plastic thing while you're struggling with it.

00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:27.519
Um, you know, the people that are there in service of the day and just want to like make it go amazingly and like just like you know, like relish a job well done, that is more important to me than, you know, having sick DJ skills.

00:40:27.760 --> 00:40:35.760
Sick DJ skills can be can be trained, but the soft skills of service and you know, just getting it, that's hard, that's hard to find.

00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:44.559
And so I don't even know the number of it, but it's dozens of women that I brought into this job and I've trained them and taught them how to do this and given them access to this weird world.

00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:47.599
And and that is something that I I that's probably the thing.

00:40:47.679 --> 00:40:57.280
Because I even if they didn't DJ ever again after they left my my company, which most of them don't, I'm sure the skills that they have learned have passed on to whatever it is they're doing now.

00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:01.840
I I what I got to thank uh Sean Campbell, who has also been on this podcast.

00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:04.320
Uh Sean Campbell, I got to thank her.

00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:12.000
She actually I she was supposed to come to the party, she didn't, but I did give her a very special shout-out because she made this community radio station.

00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:18.239
Well, she didn't make the station, but she was running the station that I was working at, where that was that I was the first place that I ever volunteered.

00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:31.039
And it was, you know, because she uh created a space where uh anybody women could come in, anybody could come in, but that seeing other women doing it helped me uh feel like it was something I could do.

00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:44.480
And uh, and then I got the skills to, you know, be able to understand how to go between the songs and do good crossfades and keep it, you know, thematically working and then changing it so you you have to change the vibe constantly.

00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:56.159
So I mean, I I learned so many skills that I use all the time, you know, and I don't know, it's you realize that you're just the culmination of every experience that's happened to you, you know.

00:41:56.239 --> 00:42:04.559
And if you've and if you're open to things, if you are like I think like I'm always thinking, people are like the weirdest things always happen to you, and the weirdest things always do happen to me.

00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:07.119
But I think the weirdest things are happening to everybody all the time.

00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:09.440
I just think some people are just not as good at seeing it.

00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:13.679
Like I am, I'm just willing to look and I'm out, you know, when I see something weird, I'm like, oh, what's that?

00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.159
Like that's interesting, that's different from what's happening here.

00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:16.880
Definitely.

00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:19.360
I definitely think that that is true about you.

00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:30.719
And even to the degree that we are here because a person asked you if you were up for something and you said yes, you know, like there's a lot of people that would not have said yes.

00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:41.760
And so it's your, you know, open-mindedness, your curiosity, your, you know, eagerness to understand and and I can Mary do this, you know, that that whole thing.

00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:52.079
Can I can I host a dance party for women of a certain age and find venues that would want that to have happen and then also do that, you know?

00:42:52.159 --> 00:43:00.400
It's like this um, yeah, uh you have a particular drive to kind of keep finding the edges of what you know you can succeed at.

00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:01.840
And I think that's super cool.

00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:08.239
And of course, that I think is a primary factor in why you end up having so many interesting things happen to you.

00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:10.800
You know, they they sort of feed into each other.

00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:18.079
So, but yeah, I mean, it all starts with your, you know, kind of openness to trying things out and seeing what happens.

00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:29.599
Yeah, I I actually today I got a text message from a a mom in the neighborhood who's she actually was the one who texted me in the first place through another friend of mine to see if I would do these women dance parties.

00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:34.239
And she had sent over the link about the early birds, which was the you know, the thing I had seen about it.

00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:37.360
And so, I mean, that's you know, kind of how it all started.

00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:38.800
So it's like, I don't know.

00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:43.119
I just I think I get mired in the muck a lot.

00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:48.559
And uh, you know, we should be having more parties, is basically I should definitely have more parties.

00:43:48.719 --> 00:44:02.079
Like if I came away from uh, you know, I I often say to couples like, you know, this is is a really important part of your entire experience because When do you get to hire a DJ again in your life?

00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:05.840
You know, like it's really not something that comes up that often.

00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:09.920
And at that, when, you know, can you hire a really freaking awesome one?

00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:16.559
So the fact that we have access to all of these incredibly talented people that, you know, could be coming in and sharing that.

00:44:16.639 --> 00:44:20.400
I mean, definitely think that we should have a more regular just DJ showcase.

00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:26.960
You know, I think there's always that I was talking to Scott about this last night, that kind of like you don't want to it's tricky.

00:44:27.199 --> 00:44:50.960
Actually, I I feel like I I stumbled on kind of an interesting analogy in talking to him about um interior design and how like if you you're really good at Photoshop and you can really make this incredible rendering and like show somebody basically exactly what you know their space is gonna look like um at the end of the day, you are putting handcuffs on yourself because things will come up that will require you to deviate from that.

00:44:51.119 --> 00:45:15.119
And then ultimately not, you know, like if it doesn't match what you said you were gonna do, then you know, you're creating either a disappointment in your client because they don't like what you ended up doing as well as what you said you were going to, or you know, you just uh have an opportunity to do something better and you've had to, you know, sort of stick to the plan because that's what you your client committed to.

00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:25.760
And so, you know, kind of that's most people don't sorry, and most people don't have the the imagination to even see that the the thing you did go outside the lines on was actually better.

00:45:25.920 --> 00:45:29.440
It just didn't look like the thing they thought it was going to be, so they can't even accept.

00:45:29.599 --> 00:45:33.599
So I mean it's kind of like people like, can I just give you a playlist and you just go in this order?

00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:40.639
And it's like, no, I I that was my breakthrough, you know, with that analogy where I was kind of like, no, this totally is the same.

00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:44.480
Like, and you don't you don't want to do that to your your DJ either.

00:45:44.639 --> 00:46:07.519
And that's I think what has always been our hesitation about having like, you know, videos or playlists of not playlists, but uh demos of DJs mixing and stuff like that, is because it is like giving your client a rendering, you know, and it's like your event might not be this actually, but you're you know, by by sort of putting those constraints on it might not be as awesome as it could be.

00:46:07.840 --> 00:46:08.800
It's the surprise and delight.

00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:12.800
I don't want people to come.

00:46:13.440 --> 00:46:15.679
And oh, they're gonna play can at my wedding.

00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:25.599
And it's like because I mean I would because I would feel like it the like if I was doing it, you know, if I was doing a set, if I'm doing a set as a showcase, I want to play what I want to play.

00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:38.239
Yeah, you know, I don't necessarily want to not that I don't want to play Dua Lipa, but like, you know, if I'm playing what I want to play, I mean it it's you know, yeah the rate what I play on my radio show plus Taylor Swift, which I won't play at my on my radio show.

00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:41.199
I mean, I I have occasionally, but not as much as I probably could.

00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:43.360
Anyway, um, I show restraint.

00:46:43.599 --> 00:46:53.280
But it's I think that it also you lose the like the surprise and delight, I think, is an element that is the spice of life in many ways.

00:46:53.440 --> 00:47:01.760
But it's also like when, you know, if the client's like, you can only play these songs, you're not giving us the ability to like blow your mind with something because everything's anticipated.

00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:15.360
You're not willing to, you know, like be, you know, like amazed that you came up with this other idea, like when they gave you all of their ideas and you're like, wow, like they don't re I think they don't realize this, but they probably really like this type of music.

00:47:15.519 --> 00:47:23.760
And like, you know, and I'll and what's great about having the flexibility is you can like throw one in during dinner and then see if anyone's heads perk up.

00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:28.400
And if you see some heads perk up, you're like, okay, I now have that genre in my toolbox now.

00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:36.159
And it's like, you know, and I think this is also part of like what I feel we do at Toast and Jam is like seeing how every single part of the night feeds into the other one.

00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:41.119
So like the DJs aren't just like ticking their and looking at their watch and waiting for it to be dance time.

00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:44.559
Like we, every single part is as important as every other part.

00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:48.320
So then if any of that goes south, like that fucks up the dance set.

00:47:48.559 --> 00:48:07.840
So, you know, that's why we care about ceremony and care about cocktail music and care about dinner music and care about how we're structuring the toast into the cake cutting into this, because we want to keep everything going on a on a good trajectory so that when you finally get to the dance set, everyone's in a good mood because nothing got off to off schedule.

00:48:08.079 --> 00:48:11.119
And, you know, every the the everything feels well timed.

00:48:11.199 --> 00:48:12.639
No one's like sitting around wondering.

00:48:12.800 --> 00:48:18.880
Like I hate it when like the kitchen's running slow and you can tell that the energy in the room is just like, what's happening next?

00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:24.960
We've been sitting here for too long, and it's like, but you haven't gotten your entrees yet, or like the whole room hasn't gotten their entrees yet, or whatever.

00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:27.360
And it's like you can't start dancing until the food's over.

00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:29.039
But it and no one understands that.

00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:36.639
And it's you know, so it's like if I can affect the food coming out any faster, I will because that's just gonna make my dance set go better.

00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:39.199
Being a team player and all of that.

00:48:39.599 --> 00:48:42.320
But yeah, so I think we should have more parties for sure.

00:48:43.119 --> 00:48:48.639
And uh we'll just have to tell people, you know, when they come in, like this is a no-judgment zone.

00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:53.599
These people can do anything but enjoy what they're gonna do for you this night, you know.

00:48:54.239 --> 00:49:01.840
I mean, it could be for other customer other it could be for a like a client showcase, but it could also just be, you know, like a networking party that's not even wedding related.

00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:09.360
And we've got DJs DJing the networking party and you know, get the bread and butter band to come on in and for their reunion already.

00:49:09.599 --> 00:49:10.880
Oh my god, they were so good.

00:49:11.119 --> 00:49:11.920
They were so good.

00:49:12.480 --> 00:49:12.960
Really great.

00:49:13.519 --> 00:49:13.920
All right.

00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:14.960
Have we done it?

00:49:15.199 --> 00:49:15.840
We did it.

00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:18.880
Another episode in the can.

00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:24.400
Well, Melissa, thank you so much for coming on a day and you know, bringing your bringing your beanie into my screen.

00:49:24.559 --> 00:49:26.960
Everybody out there, thanks so much for tuning in and listening.

00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:29.440
I'm gonna say some things I hear on other podcasts.

00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:31.679
Uh, you should be liking and subscribing.

00:49:31.760 --> 00:49:34.960
Uh smash that subscribe button if you like to write reviews.

00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:37.679
Apparently, reviews are also very great.

00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:41.599
And so you can write those on your your five-star reviews on places.

00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:48.159
And come back next week for more deep dives into my lady business.

00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.000
That's what it's all about, Mary.

00:49:50.159 --> 00:49:51.280
It's really why we're here.

00:49:51.599 --> 00:49:52.800
Dives into my business.

00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:53.360
Yes.

00:49:53.599 --> 00:49:53.920
Bye.

00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:54.639
Bye.

00:49:56.400 --> 00:50:00.559
Thanks for listening to All of In My Lady Business with me, Mary Macy.

00:50:00.800 --> 00:50:05.920
Uh, we'd love for you to like, review, subscribe, follow us at Olive in My Lady Business on the RAM.

00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:09.679
And if you're a female identifying person and you want to dance, you can follow.

00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:17.519
I mean, everybody can follow us, but if you want to be a part of the magic at hot slash dance party, sign up for the many to find out where our next party's gonna be.

00:50:17.599 --> 00:50:22.880
And if you are looking for a DJ in the area or anywhere else, you know, money's the same color everywhere.

00:50:23.039 --> 00:50:23.599
Buy us out.

00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:25.760
Tokenands.com has the best.

00:50:25.840 --> 00:50:27.119
And listen to my radio show.

00:50:27.199 --> 00:50:30.000
I have a radio show on TripRadio at tripradio.org.

00:50:30.079 --> 00:50:30.639
That's Mondays.

00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:33.440
Every Monday we call Tokyo and C Speed.

00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:39.440
Today's episode is produced by Shiraz Data theme song, composed and performed by Shiraz Data.

00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:41.519
Alright, guys, peace out.