Everything Is Marketing With Jessica Ullman

SPEAKER_00 0:15

My business is your business. It's all in my lady business. What do you mean? All right. Today I am super excited to have Jessica Ullman of the Digital Sip. I am so excited to have her on as she takes a digital sip uh and have her on my podcast today. So welcome, Jessica. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here. So I'm breaking the seal on Jessica's uh podcast experience. So I hope that uh I hope that I do you right by you and you'll want to be on another podcast again someday. Um so let's tell tell me about the digital sip. How did you start this digital marketing agency that you uh started? How did you start the thing you started?

SPEAKER_01 1:12

What a story there. Um so actually, I started my career in fashion. I was an assistant buyer for handbags at Kate Spade. And um, that's a dog eat dog world, let me tell you. Um during this time, lots going on. Uh, ended up donating a kidney to my mom, trying to figure out what my next career path is after, you know, medical leave for a little bit, and um stumbled upon my dad's friend who owned a $10 million optical in the Bronx. He needed somebody to replace his daughter in the marketing department. Um, that happened? Optical, yeah, eyewear. Okay. Fancy eyewear. Um, and I bet a lot of people are like, well, how do you market eyewear? I mean, eyewear is a fashion statement. I have so many fun frames. Um, when you think about like the marketing side of that, there's a healthcare aspect to it, but a lot of people are putting frames on their face to look good, right? It's what everybody says. But ended up, you know, replacing his daughter, and then the pandemic hit three weeks later. And they were living in New York. Yes, yes, are you from New York? I am, born and raised Westchester County.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Oh, wow, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you're living in New York. Living in New York, um, figuring out my next career path, end up working for my dad's friend in the marketing department, but COVID shut everything down. And he didn't have a digital presence of really any sorts. So that's what I spent my free time doing: learning website building, SEO, ads, social media, the whole nine, and started taking on side work. And all of a sudden, a year after that, I had a business and kind of was freaking out about it because I was 25 at the time. And I'm like, well, what do I do? I have all these clients. I need help. I don't know how to run a business. Um, so five years later, here I'm at with uh, you know, 12 employees and uh cranking away.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Um, okay, so I want to go back to your uncle. So you so your uncle's friend had the store? My uncle had the store. Okay, so your dad's friend has the store, this optical, this glass, this glasses shop. And you so you were working for their fork working for the company, COVID hits, you realize they have no digital presence, so then you basically invent their digital presence. Yes. And what do you have any metrics on like how things went once you did that?

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Oh my god. The results were pretty insane, I would say. When you look at where these opticals were, they were in the Bronx. So the Bronx market definitely cares about the eyewear they put on their face, but he had a Westchester County location and they care about, well, what does my insurance cover? So it was a play on two different things, and the Westchester location just was not picking up. Um, but after starting Google Ads and giving them a revamp, they were able to have a doctor in four days a week, but they only used to have a doctor in two days a week. So to be able to increase the doctor hours is 100%.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

That's 100%. That's a hundred percent increase.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, learning how to navigate, not just marketing, like anybody could throw something up there, but understanding each geographical area and who the consumer is does change a strategy a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Where did you and did you figure that out just on your own with savviness, or did you go to college for marketing? What did I mean, what did how did you determine that?

SPEAKER_01 4:44

College for fashion. I was like, that's right. Um, but you know, it something that I've always had in me is like a drive to figure things out. If someone's gonna tell me I can't do it, I'm gonna do it. Oh. So like he was very hard on me. He would treat me differently because that was my one of my dad's best friends, and he would tell me, well, I see a lot of potential in you, and that's why I treat you differently. But I've always been in an area where if someone's gonna tell me I can't do it, I'm gonna do it. Yes. And it that's exactly what I took with me when I was there, and then took it outside of that. And I think, I think a lot of women have a hard problem with that. Like a lot of women can be told, well, you can't do it, and then they don't do it. And they become housewives and that's why I'm not good at science. Yeah, exactly. Um, but yeah, it's just it was that experience is the reason I have a business today. I will say that it was a very hard working experience, but it's the reason I have a business today is because I felt I was never gonna be good at something because of the things that came my way, but I wanted to prove people wrong. I wanted to show that I could hustle.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

You mean the things that came your way as a result of working for your for that guy?

SPEAKER_01 6:05

For him, for corporate at Kate Spade, like as much as I loved the idea of corporate fashion, it was like I said, doggy dog. Nobody was helping. Nobody wanted to help teach me the things I needed to know to make the department successful. I had been the third person there in that role in three years, and it makes a lot of sense. Why not?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Are you an Aquarius?

SPEAKER_01 6:27

No, I'm a Scorpio.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Interesting. That also tracks though.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Okay, wait, what what's your thought process on that? Because I don't know a lot about it. I just know Scorpios are very, excuse my language, like bitchy.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Well, it's not so much bitchy, it's that you're right, and you um and you have a difficult time with somebody with yielding to that. You have a difficult time with selling yourself short, or like, you know, pretending to be something else to make somebody else feel comfortable in the moment. Like, you know, you you need to have your you you've got a strong like justice streak.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

That tracks. That tracks a hundred percent. I don't think I'll ever go back into working a job because I could ever handle it.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

I could never, never handle once you've gone, once you've become your own boss. I mean, I think some people become their own boss because they think that's what they are supposed to do. Like, oh, the American dream is to like start your own thing and be your own boss and cut your own jib and all that other things. And like some people just not meant to not, they're meant to work for other people. Like my husband, I love him more than anything. He would be the first one to tell you he has to work for someone. He can't, he won't, he, he can't be his own boss. Whereas I can never work for another person ever again.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

There's a lot of you you gotta have a lot of self-control and manage yourself, right? So, like working nine to five, there's a list of things that needed to get done. Of course, there were one-offs and stuff, but like you you kind of tracked your day-to-day. Whereas like being your own business owner, it's like the business doesn't exist unless you build it out. Where's your process? Where's your protocols? Where's all of that? It's not coming from top down, you're top.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

You are you're the top, you're the top, the middle, and the bottom. I mean, that's it is, you know, you're cleaning toilets and taking out garbage just as much as you're, you know, making high level decisions.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Which is funny that you say that because obviously I work with a lot of businesses. I I help, you know, market then. But what you'll find is that marketing plays a huge part in people saying, well, my business isn't successful because of marketing. But what am I supposed to tell you when you got a lead and you talk and you answer them five hours later and you're in a home business industry and they've called 10 other people who already got back to them? It's so crazy when I think about all of that. It's like marketing's one thing, but what about the structure of your business? Because besides the marketing company, I also own a cleaning company out here in Arizona, and I took all my marketing skills to build that company, but I also took my business building skills to build that company too. And you'll find like that's the hardest part. People think the work is the hardest part, it's the structure, it's actually making something viable.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

It's process, it's process and structure. Cause I mean, you're absolutely right. Like the the relationship with the client begins before they've even called you. Like if you, if, if they, you know, if they are experiencing friction and trying to get a hold of you, they're going to dust you. And I think a lot of people, I mean, you know, I I'm as guilty as the next person. I want people to contact us through the website because then we have all their information and it's easier to give them an accurate quote or know if we got the data available, blah, blah, blah, all the things that make it easier for us. Um, but, you know, it's like if they tried calling you and you didn't answer the phone, that might be enough for them to never contact you again. And they might be in some people might argue, well, they weren't my right client if they're not contacting me the way I want to be contacted. No, that's not I think in contacting your first, there should be l as minimal frequency of friction as possible in the initial contact with someone.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah, exactly. And I think a lot of when I think about all the businesses just being a part of it, it's I it's hard to come off as a marketing agency when you call people out on the way they're operating their business. And I it's been it's been a wild ride. Like when I first started, I think the economy was a little different because of COVID and people were spending a lot. Well, now there are so many more businesses in each space because of that big boom that you need to do anything you can to stand out. And it maybe it does, maybe it's your price, but it's also like, you know, answering, answer your customer. Now there's so many options and people consume now. They want it now. So you need to be the now. But I know it's a little different in your industry. You're definitely like not that local business where people want to consume right away. You're being planned out for months in advance.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

No, but we're local. I mean, you're they're meeting in person. Like these are, I mean, we're um we are a an algorithmic, an algorithm or uh AI proof business to a certain extent. I mean, some people would probably argue that a DJ could just be an iPod that's plugged in, and I've been literally fighting that my entire career. But, you know, it's there's a lot of in-person, it's a lot of local businesses, very few corporate anything in the wedding industry. So, you know, we you have to be, you have I mean, because if you show up late to a meeting, they're gonna assume you're gonna show up late to their wedding. If you mispronounce their name when you're just going over it in the meeting, they're afraid you're gonna mispronounce their name when you're doing the introductions over the so it's like you have there's a perfection level where it's like you have to kind of be a hundred percent all the time with these people that you're only working with once. And so it's it's an interesting, it's an interesting way to look at it. But I want to go back to what you said about um about the cleaning company because so you and also how'd you wind up in Arizona from New York? Because those are two very different places, unless you're talking about needlepoint. In needlepoint, you uh needlepoint from either Phoenix to New York or from New York to Phoenix, depending upon if you're left or right-handed. So I'm a left-handed person. I go Phoenix to New York. Anyway, uh uh weird, weird information on that tip. But um, what so how'd you wind up in New York? Or how'd you wind up in Arizona?

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Um, so you know, New York's great. I love New York, I love the hustle, but I did not want to buy or attempt to buy a million-dollar home that you needed to gut from top to bottom because it wasn't renovated since 1970, and your taxes are equal to your mortgage. And my parents sold my childhood home. Um, they put it on the market, and you know, if they were going to Florida, which I'd never go to Florida, I'm sorry, it's a swamp, whoever is in Florida, you know, Cesspool. Your personal business. Um, and I had four clients out here. So I took a trip to visit my best friend from first grade on. She ended up moving out here a year and a half before that trip. And, you know, being with her again, being here in the warmth, I did fall in love with the desert. I do really like it. I hate the rain. Um, snow is fun when it first falls, and then it's disgusting every hours after that. Um, so it was definitely a good move for me, plus a little bit slow pace. But another factor in it was I felt I had to be everywhere all at once when I was in New York. I love my family, we're all very close, but every family activity, all of my friends and their activities too, while trying to build the business, put so much strain on me that I just needed a break. And it might not be for everybody, but my passion is in building businesses. It is a passion of mine. And a lot of my friends and family couldn't understand that if a client's calling me at eight o'clock at night, it's an emergency and I need to handle it. And they just wanted those my friends wanted to work the nine to five life. It wasn't for me, but there was no understanding in it. And I just felt I needed a little peace from all of that.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

So they're also they're also like when you when you're not a nine to five type, I'm not, I'm also not a nine to five type. I cannot, I I cannot sit somewhere for eight hours straight and just do one thing. Like it is, it's it's I hate even being just in front of a computer right now. I wish I was in person with you. Um, but I realized not too long ago that like the like when I started Toast and Jam, I DJ company. When I started the company, I was living, I had moved to a place that was like not the hot spot. I was living in like the hot spot of like in Wicker Park, which is in Chicago, is like, you know, it's like at the time it was fun and cool, and now it's like a gentrified nightmare. But when I lived in it, it was fun and cool, and all my friends were. And then I moved further away, and I think that's the only reason why I was able to make my business work is because I was more isolated. It was harder for me to get to places, and so it's like, well, I might as well just sit here and work on my business all the time because no one's hanging out with me and I'm not going anywhere. And I think that's interesting that you had to move across the country. Like that's your version of like leaving New York. It's like if I'm gonna if I I can't get out of New York City, so I might as well go to a desert 3,000 miles away.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

I know. Oh my God. I I think about it now. Probably one of the best decisions for me to do that. A lot of it also related to, like I said, I love my friends, but you do you know what it's like. Like in a business, I have to show up happy every single day. There's no me getting on a call with a client and being like, well, I'm having a crappy day.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

And so you would or I'm sort of hungover. I'm not gonna perform as well today.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, sorry. I'm just like, I got way too wasted like last night, but I'm here, I'm it's a face. Um I when I think about that, like having to go peppy, peppy, peppy, and then my friends expecting me to be peppy, peppy, peppy. I'm like, I need a break. I I can't. I can't do it. I can't be super happy and joyous all the time. Um and it's not that I don't love like being happy for my clients. I am a genuinely happy person, but the mental load. There's a lot of mental load in my side of things. As somebody who helps clients market their business, you also kind of become a therapist for them. Kind of like like, you know, you're like your hairstylist is your therapist and your nail lady is your therapist. Um, you're like I become the therapist for them. So it's I tend to lean not only into marketing, but understanding where you're at in your business. I can see problems right away. I can drive leads to to you, but you're not answering on time, or you're just somebody's asking for a quote, but there's no sales process, and you're just like, okay, here it is. Like you're not building relationships. That's why like warm leads are great for you, but you can't succeed in a cold lead aspect because you are just nobody who is cold wants numbers thrown at them. So then it becomes more than just marketing. Now I'm trying to understand why your business might not be super. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Or like what your elevator pitch even is, you know. Like I like to start there with people because you know, if you can't say what your business does in the length of an elevator ride, like in two sentences, then your business is too complicated and you need to, you need to, you need to take some stuff out.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Yes, I agree. Um it's it's crazy to see that how a lot of the businesses that I work with, they've they've worked on the warm side of things, but they get to a cold perspective, which is usually digital marketing. It's a lot of cold people who don't really know you, but they don't know what to do. And then a lot of that mental load comes onto me because now my marketing's not good enough.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

It's how much of it you go. How much of digital marketing is just straight up marketing? I mean, is that I mean I always get confused by digital marketing when people are like I mean, I'm in digital marketing, and it's like, well, isn't that just marketing? And I mean, don't doesn't everything have to have a digital presence at this point?

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Yes, everybody does need a digital presence. It's really hard for people to accept that. But when we think about digital marketing, it's how you portray yourself when nobody knows you. You have to think of it that way. So, like, you could do in-person marketing, but at that point, now they know you because you're right there in front of you and you're talking to them. Now you've built that relationship. But how do you do that from a digital perspective? You've never talked to me, you've never heard what I've said. Here's a really good example of that. So when I'm I was renting here and I finally bought a house here because I was like, yep, Arizona's the place for me, and we're calling moving companies. And there was one moving company that was like a third of the price more expensive than the other company, but the relationship on the phone was so much better to the point they built my trust within 30 seconds of being on the phone with them, which made us decide, okay, actually, we're gonna go that path. I know it's a little more expensive, but they get what you pay for. Yes. They told a story. They made me feel like I'm their only client and I'm very special to them. But the other company I called was like, yeah, it's gonna be 200 an hour. And you're like, but wait, what, like that's it? That's all you have to say. Where the other company was like, okay, let's get a little understanding of where you're moving, distance, how many rooms, how many pianos do you have, how many stairs are they going up? Right? Exactly. Like, is it four flights that I gotta carry a whole ass dresser down? Oh, okay, that that changes the game here. But the other company was like 200 an hour. But I'm like, you didn't build a relationship with me. Now you're just a service. The other company solved my problem and built trust. And people have a hard time digitally doing that. Like me and you talking, clicking right away, what a great relationship. But how are how am I getting that from your website? Which I did, by the way. Your website's fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, Chelsea Tom is fantastic, so cool.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Like well, that's because we understand, like in the wedding industry, it's like people are making decisions split second. And if they look at your website and if it's like old and janky and parts of it are broken, and the photographs are clearly taken from 10 years ago, and you haven't updated your your testimonials in you know, four years, and there's people that on the website that don't work there anymore, like you know, that all looks crappy. It looks terrible. And we're trying to portray that we are like a fun, cool hip company. And, you know, that's that's you know, there with I mean, I wouldn't say this is almost any business, like every website is your storefront, whether you have one or not. Like that's your storefront and it's a background check on you at the same time. So like if your storefront looks like shit, then how is your service going to be?

SPEAKER_01 20:53

I think 100%. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp, though? I I don't get how like people think digital marketing becomes a scam, which yes, there are bro marketers out there who don't really care and they're gonna throw spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Or AI it to death to the point where it looks like just sloppy, sloppy, sloppy sloppy.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

My God, can we talk about that for a second? I am a digital marketer and it's it's there is such a debate here on my end. AI is moving so quickly that if I don't get on board, then I'm behind the times. But I think everything that comes out of AI looks really, really gross. Like, where why don't people care about their brand anymore? Why don't you care what you look like? Why can't you put a little effort into your company? People think people don't care about that anymore. That is not true. That is not the case.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

People care about I have a sort of a theory on that. Is that so like I I heard AI kind of explained is like accessing skill without the labor. And it's like you it it's people that already are devaluing. art and devaluing the website. Like because they can't immediately see the financial, like the, the upside to spending $20,000. Well I mean it's $20,000 on a website, but like, you know, I know you can spend $20,000 on a website very easily. So on a really like complicated one that's got like, you know, forms and shit on it that, you know, make it harder to what I why am I justifying this? Yes, there are $20,000 websites. Anyway, it's like they, it's like because the AI slop looks good enough, it's almost like they're it's like their digital literacy is so limited that they think that the slop is good enough. It's got a guy and I own a I own a car wash and he's putting a car through a car wash. Like, isn't that enough? They don't see that there are people that are going to see through the slop and say, oh, if you're using AI slop for this, what else are you going to use AI slop for in my in my I don't know I feel it looks sloppy and it looks shitty and it looks like you don't care. So why would I I mean it's in it and it's all part of a it's it's all marketing. I mean everything is marketing. Everything is marketing.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Yes. You have to think marketing isn't just one fold there's so many folds in it. And if you can't grasp being a business that continues to build like if you can't grasp that you want a big business then sure go for AI. If you're just looking to make a few bucks every month and not work corporate, great go with AI. Like it'll get you something but if your goal is to be bigger than that then you need to invest in things bigger than just AI, right? Everyone's in Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

And to go to what you're saying, like they're you're in your industry everyone's saying like how can I I so you're having a lot of clients that are like how can I incorporate AI more into my business? Because they're being told if they don't then they are losing out. Yep. Again and the question is is what are they losing out on? Eliminating an employee temporarily until they realize that they don't have enough credits to replace the employee they replaced with AI?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I know it's gonna get so expensive like the bubble's gonna pop. It's gonna have to raise money it's losing more than it's making and how do you compensate for that while the prices have to go up it's kind of like the concept of Uber. Remember when Ubers were super cheap it's because it was backed by investors but then all the money was gone and they had to start making money and that's why Ubers are so much more expensive now.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

But what's your theory on that what is your theory on that like do you think that it's because there was so you were saying like that the Ubers were artificially cheap when they were getting the financial backing and then once they lost the financial backing they had to charge what it was actually worth to take an Uber.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Yes correct so we when you're trying to test a new concept and you have investor backing you can kind of charge whatever you want just to get the product up and running and going and well the money's gonna run out eventually and now the investors need their money back. You you have to raise prices and that's why a $10 Uber ride was all of a sudden 35 to 40 bucks. Well now because you're actually paying every part of the process and now it has to make money to compensate for the investor money. So if you're building your business from the ground up you know just make sure you're calculating your prices correctly if you're backed by investors I would start I would start a little higher actually it's all of that like all of that to say AI algorithm more cost to things all of that I really like human interaction. I know I'm a digital marketer but something about talking to humans is really really great actually and I know it's not for everybody but to know that a human took my vision brought it to life like what that's so great. What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Well it's here's the thing is that there's there's cost to that and we no longer have the like wiggle room in our budgets to pay for those things because everything has gotten so expensive that it's much easier for me to like go to ChatGPT and here's my business make me a marketing plan and it'll say like you need it'll it'll say like hey girl you need SEO and you know kind of like tell you all the big words you need to have but then think that they can then implement implement it for you but you can't you need a pe you need people it's so funny when you think of that I think of AI when it's like that's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Here are three things I'd recommend and you're like oh my God no one speaks like that.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Like don't talk to me like I'm me. Like I don't or how you think I talk to me.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Like it's it's so awful if we're talking about AI though I did I will say yesterday I I I asked my fiance how to use Claude Cowork because I was too lazy to copy I I'm trying to get my reporting all cleaned up and I have to copy individual links and then make everyone public editor and I was like I do not have an hour to do this. And so I did ask Claude Cowork to do it. That okay I'll take that wait what's Claude Cowork? Okay a new concept but a lot of people know about this and we are behind the times. Basically Claude Cowork takes over your computer and does the task for you becomes your computer so I was able to work on things while I was pulling the links in the background. Something like that I feel like okay that's great for I love AI for processes and procedures like I didn't have to spend an hour yeah copying and pasting things and I didn't have to give that to any of my employees and be like here do this mundane task. Yes it's important but it sucks like you know something like that. That I'll use AI for but me too.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

I will use it only if I'm if it's just something that I would do like if it's something that I would do but I want it done a little bit faster like it's like I'm okay if I'm not replacing a human.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Yeah let's put it that way like it's that task for me was never going to replace anybody because that task was just an hour time I don't have 40 hours of somebody doing stuff like that. That doesn't make sense to me when I think about AI I think the best marketing comes from a brain and not from generic stuff that AI is pulling. If you want to stand out how do you think outside of the box and AI doesn't really do that. I don't think anybody's realizing that because we've become so used to talking to this bot and getting something back and you're like well this is okay because it saved me time and now I don't have to use my brain I find no joy in that I find joy in using my brain that that's also why through building the digital SIP I built a company on the side you I if I'm being fully transparent and it feels like a good time to talk about this just because of where I'm at in my business the mental load I carry of everybody else's business is really really difficult. People don't want to take accountability for the things they're not doing and automatically put it on me. I had a client who I requested to film some videos for me three times. And then when they felt their ads weren't performing they're like well why isn't it and I said because I requested video for you three times and you didn't do it and I couldn't prolong this any longer. Then they come back to me saying oh well we're super busy and if you can't follow up then how are we supposed to work together and it's like followed up three times and now at this point you have to be accountable for yourself. You cannot keep putting your mental load on me that you're not getting the tasks done that need to get done.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

And then if you can't get and if you can't get it done, let's say then you need to rearrange your expectations on what the marketing can do because it's kind of like you know how I mean the algorithm is perpetually changing which I think is really weird too also that they're just like let's just fuck with it so we can force people to spend more money. Like the algorithm of always changing what the like it feels like now if you don't have a human face in whatever it is that you're trying to support no one sees it. Like they you have to have a person's face. And I think and I which is fine. Okay that's that probably is how it should be but if you have a bunch of videos of just like your machine's working and you don't have time to make the videos that are forward facing then you either have to change your you either have to find the time to film those videos that you wanted or change your your expectations and what you want from your marketing.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Yep I'm with you. It's been a draining ride for the past few months of seeing people not being able to hold themselves accountable but expect me to be the accountability for them. Listen, I'm not a babysitter. You hire me out and we do the 80 but if you're not doing the 20 then where are we going from here? I can I can adapt a strategy I can build things out but there's going to be pieces of the puzzle you need to give to me. There's no way around it.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

That's always been my problem that's I mean I've had marketing people my whole the every time I hired a marketing company like we need more video and I'm like I don't have time to so it's like well so what's the solution?

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Because I'm assuming that most of your clients aren't local to you no a lot of them aren't um the solution I will go for content shoots, right? Do I know the solution? Understand being a business owner is hard and that for the first five years you're not gonna sleep I'm sorry. Like no I feel like that's another thing. Listen I went into marketing because at the time of donating a kidney to my mom and trying to figure out what was going on with me hormonally I relied on social media to help me with new methods of things I never thought I could test to try to not be in chronic pain. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

And wait so you were in chronic pain and you gave a kidney?

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Yeah so I mean because we're all up in our lady business right since I've been 14 I've suffered from really bad cramps. Okay seven days before my menstrual cycle very unusual I've been on 20 different kinds of birth controls. I've been to five different gynecologists I went to an endometriosis specialist in New York City my insurance didn't cover the surgery so out here in Arizona I got insurance here it did I got the surgery they found nothing I'm thirty I'm 30 turning 31 very shortly Scorpio life um but you know 17 years of being in pain has been really hard. And you have no answer somewhat like I'm on progesterone now and that has helped a lot but it still hasn't fully helped and so I'm happy for our slight solution I did run into a functional medicine doctor who like I told her everything that was going on and she's like well have you tried progesterone and I was like no one's recommended it to me I'm I'm a little young for hormones right and they're like no you start losing progesterone at 16. We're not really educated on that. No like you know it could help. It has definitely helped I'm very grateful for that but I'm still out there looking for a solution to understand my certain aspect I would tell gynecologists this and they'll be like ah I'll put you on birth control. Like the birth control never helped me I got off of it from kidney donation. Have you had your thyroid checked yes my sister has thyroid problems. My mom diabetes kidney disease liver disease high blood pressure she had it all my mom would write our scripts for us. We get tested for everything. So it's always bit like I've always gotten every single blood panel you possibly could get and you know through all of that pain and suffering I would rely on social media to try different methods that might help right and that was the reason that brought me into marketing is because I did find some things that would help a little bit and there are people out there who might have experienced some similar things. Now I feel like social media is selling people on you could build a business with AI. You could build this and that and blah blah blah blah blah and it's like what skill and what talent goes into this and do you actually know what it's like to be a business owner because if you can't accept you're going to work your ass off and probably not be available for your first five years, then don't go into business because it's not anybody else's problem that you can't handle your business. Yeah. You can't you hire a marketing team but you're still the owner of your business you still need to provide things you still need to put your face out there.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

It is you and it seems like there's always like people trying to like here's the thing that can cut that corner here's the thing that can cut that corner and you know here's the hack to like not have to deal with you know marketing or here's the hack to not you know to like getting clients without you know here's here's three easy ways to get more clients or whatever. And it's like there's no easy way. Like you might be able to hack a you might be able to like I just feel like there's always trade-offs. It's like every time you don't do anything the the way it's supposed to be done and you take the time and you have the failures that you then fix the problem then you succeed a little bit more and you fail a little bit less. I mean like I do feel that there's no there's no corner cutting in business and I feel like every time you cut a corner you're selling yourself short. You are you know you're giving somebody else the money that you could be making yourself if you just did it yourself.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

It's a wild ride. And how long have you been in business for at this point? Uh toast and jam's been in around for 21 years but I've been in the wedding industry for 25 and do you feel the way people consume has changed from back then to now because of all of this happening?

SPEAKER_00 35:34

Yeah absolutely I mean it's I mean even from the way that weddings get paid for. I mean when we when I started I would say probably at least half if not more of my clients were paying for their weddings themselves. That was something that and and it feels like that changed a lot that I feel like the millennial when millennials started getting married parents started stepping in more we know I never used to have parent input ever client parents never came to the meetings parent parents had nothing to do with everything. And then as millennials started having weddings then parents got more involved and the money got more like there was more money. Like it was people trust just trying to have a cheap wedding and that was you know we were maybe the like most expensive thing and we were still very cheap. Um but even from the consuming side of things I feel like people are spending more money on on on their weddings and parents are more involved. I mean that's one thing that has become a change from the very beginning.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

That's crazy to think about that. Well but think about it from this perspective kids want a big wedding because where are they showing it off?

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Instagram and Facebook I mean it's well I mean even just that I mean when Pinterest started because Pinterest predated Instagram Pinterest really changed the entire wedding conversation because all of a sudden they could put any idea they saw at all could all just go into one little you know board. And so now it now they would have these like weddings we were doing everything. They've got a flash mob photo booth they've got you know a a Elvis in person like any anything that could be a part the more ex more ancillary things got added to weddings.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yeah like what happened to the actual love I so me and my fiance I haven't pulled the trigger on getting married I watched what my sister goes like went through uh from the wedding perspective my God my you know my parents were paying for most of it my mom felt she had to be very involved and it really hurt my sister because it's supposed to be her special day and then coming from an Italian family it's very much like well oh my god did you see this did you see that like and it's not are you and the invite list I mean how many people were at your sister's wedding my sister definitely invited over 200 but I think 180 attended but you would pretty big it's big that's a big wedding we have a big side of the family but her husband also did too um probably would have been smaller if her husband didn't have as big of a side but regardless it's like I think people are throwing stuff like that because they want to show off this is not for love this is for a show but why are we all trying to prove to somebody that you know like I had the biggest wedding or I had the best things there.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

What if you just like celebrated the love yeah you know I mean it's I mean and I will tell you that the weddings where like where they don't spend that much I mean they're the more they're the more fun ones. I mean it's you know because there's usually there's more pressure to make it awesome and I think there's also just because of the Instagram of it all if you've gone especially when you're like 28 years old when all your friends are getting married you've got like 10 weddings you're going to in one month in one year you want your wedding to look different than the one before and it's hard to make those things look that different you know so it's like you have to do extra special things in order to get those things to be a little bit more different. And you know, I mean and it's you know as a result we offer more services like we found that like when via marketing and all these we realized that we were losing weddings to people who were like well we want to go with the DJ that can also provide lights even though lights have nothing really to do well I mean they do I've now realized they do have more to do with it. But when I but for years we didn't offer lights because I was like I don't want to figure them out and like if a halfway through a dance set of light starts messing up and I don't want to have to like worry about a light that's futzing when I should be focusing on the sick beats. But we were losing a lot of business people that were going with companies that provided lights and initially I was like well fuck them the music's more important but you know the music is important but you also have to do what everybody wants too. So now all of a sudden we are offering lights and photo booths and things that we didn't offer before because if we don't we lose the business and you know I don't know it's it's it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

That's how I feel with the AI thing. It's like I have so many people coming to me wanting AI and if we didn't adapt then well what do we like what do we do? Because a lot of people right now are in the headspace that AI can do more than a person can. So when I looked at my business after these last five years here's how we're approaching web development. We will go through and use AI as a base but we will never keep the website custom coded my web developer goes in and does some fun features with AI but the base kind of stays the same. So one your website's not going to break and two we're able to add in the SEO that is that Google still wants Google is frowning upon AI slop, but what they want is content that answers questions. So we just adapt the way we add content to a website from a design perspective we can get some cool funky stuff going now but we are not going to be the company that gives you like this AI slop and calls it a day. It's never going to be beneficial to you and I will die on that hill. But I had to adapt a little bit just like you had to offer lights I got to offer some certain things that people do want and are interested in. Like is it everybody wanting it is everyone wanting a chat bot yeah so I do have a few chatbots but what I find is better is if you make the chat bot a form and call the person back but no everybody like wants a chat bot. But then I think about chat box too like have you ever tried to like contact like your bank or something and you have to go through seven million prompts before you can speak to somebody because the chatbot isn't going to help you like I bel I believe a chat box actually deters people unless it's like basic questions right so for a client I have it's like okay I'm looking to get in contact with one of the three locations do you have the like someone will be like I need to book an appointment okay what location this location okay here's the number that's what we'll do like I I'm not gonna have AI fully answer things. It's because like what happened to people connection I really believe digital can create a people connection when I've run a lot of ads for people on Facebook we use messenger ads. Messenger is a conversation you get information from them they click on the ad they they start by talking to you and then you can talk back that's a great way to incorporate digital with a human connection when you take that away you're just another company offering a service you're not offering something special. Yeah I think people like feeling special like I love that people I do love that people come to me and they're like oh my God Jess is great Jess is a good human being Jess is on every call I like that some people don't some people want to run an agency with AI people and just collect some cash for a few years but then it stops working I don't ever want to be that way.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

I don't I can't get rid of that the less you the less the the more you lean into the not having people the less it's going to be a people business.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

I mean I don't see how you can maintain humanity by only employing robots and I can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth and they're actually real like and I got right like I think about the Jetsons like the where they're in their little motor cars all floating in space kind of thing I'm like oh my god we're there we're there this is where we're I want to go back to the kidney how'd that happen? Oh yeah you know funny thing is when it first happened I would talk about it more and more and now it's kind of like a blip in the future it's been eight years. Uh oh my god tomorrow is eight years wow tomorrow is eight years um so my mom had gestational diabetes with both me and my sister and my mom's not the best eater so keep that in mind my aunt Lucille read an article Article in the paper that if you had gestational diabetes with your kids, you could end up having diabetes as you've gotten older. Um and through that, my mom went and got tested and levels were messed up, kidney levels were messed up, insulin levels were messed up, and she had diabetes. She I'm not gonna get quoted on this. I hope my mom doesn't listen to this. I think she started at stage three, but I don't, you know, she's she's a lady of facts. If I've messed that up, I apologize. She started at stage three kidney disease, lasted 12 years until it hit stage five.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Um and is that kidney replacement level?

SPEAKER_01 44:43

That is your own like your dialysis levels, like depending on what percentage you're at, you gotta go into dialysis. So, you know, my mom hid it from us for a lot of years, but you know, as I got older and she left her blood work on the counter, like you you can see on the blood work, hi, low, right? Do your own research and stuff. So you as she got older too, and the disease progressed, the color is leaving from her face, her memory's getting a little foggy because her body's not processing toxins. So it kind of like knew it was coming. And you know, one day me and my sister get the call and she needs the kidney, and that's when the whole process begins. So um, first it has to start with you have to have the same blood type, and we're all oh positive. So me and my sister were both the same in that regard, but you have to go get blood work, 21 vials of blood pulled from you, and it goes through a matching process. And God, it's been so long. I think you have to have like eight, like there's eight factors that could be identical to be a perfect match. My sister had six, I had eight, which you know, thank God for that, because I love my sister, and I will probably send this to her too. Um, but she is not the best uh mentally to handle something like that.

SPEAKER_00 46:07

Like, I mean, it's a lot, I would imagine. It's purely selfless. I mean, it's you know, it is you need a kidney, I have a match. Like, how can I deny that to my mother? Is that basically kind of the yeah?

SPEAKER_01 46:19

I mean, it was not our thought. Of course I was gonna do it, but I was 23. Like, to I can't even like I haven't I haven't talked about it.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

My kidneys were so full of alcohol when I was 23 that there's no way I could have given anyone my kidney.

SPEAKER_01 46:35

Well, bless my soul. I was always a hard worker through college. I went to school, went to my internship, and then I catered afterwards. So I would be gone from seven in the morning to 12, one at night and do it. I was a hustler. And you know what? Sorry, I am money motivated. When I was in college, I was like, I'm gonna collect that cash. I think I was making like 25 an hour as a college kid, just serving up some plates. Uh, and then, you know, ended up being promoted at times to being a buffet captain, and I that made a decent amount too. And what did you know about uh fashion institute of technology in the city? FIT yeah hell yeah. Um, so I went to FIT and I had an internship at Alexander Wang. So I did, you know, school in the morning, uh date, I would make sure my schedule is two days a week and take some online, and then three days a week I went to my internship, and then afterwards I would cater. But we're with all of that, you know, I I was never a drinker. You know, God bless that, because I was particularly healthy at the time of the donation. Um and you know, what a crazy thought. Like by the time the donation happened, my mom's kidney kidney one was operating, I think. Don't quote me. God, I hope she doesn't listen to this. I think it was eight per fat. Um, so like, yeah, you're like not functioning at that point.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

So when you when you to go through that process, do you have to like just is it just like you just show up one day and donate your kidney, or do you have to like do a bunch of like take a bunch of drugs and things to get you ready to like take a kidney out?

SPEAKER_01 48:10

One of them was getting off the birth control was really scary because I was trying to maintain like my pain. So that was number one. Number two, you actually have to go through a psych because they need to make sure you're mentally okay to do it, but also that no one's cohorcing you or paying you for it. You know, black market was it's like a real thing. They're like, any compensation for this? And I was like, no, this is my mother. She's confident.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Like, I get to keep my mom. I get to keep my mom. That's my compensation.

SPEAKER_01 48:38

But you know, there are people who do that, you know? So you have to speak to a psych, you gotta go through all these evaluations, and so the way they do it now is through an incision this big, they just pop that bad boy out. Like I woke up incision like this, and that was it. And did did you have pain? Well, here's the here's the story with that. Obviously, hospitals are in it to make money. So the moment I passed a bowel, they're like, you can go home. And I'm like, bro, I'm on drugs right now. I'm not going home. I had to beg them to let me stay two days instead of one. I was like, please, I don't feel well. Like, I don't do well with medications. I'm not, I don't do well with pain pills. I throw them up. I don't, I don't do well with any of that stuff. Like, even being on trisebet now at the moment, like that's makes me feel horrific, but it helps my. That's for my PCOS.

unknown 49:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:38

So you have picos. So you know what you know what's wrong with you then.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Yes. Well, okay, sort of. That's one factor, but no one can understand why I have cramps, right? So it's like, woo, we're having a good time over here. Um, kidney donation happens, pass a bowel, bed to stay for an extra day. I pleaded, like they cut through nerves. I was having pinging. It's not like horrifically painful, but your body has lost an organ that processes toxins out of your body. I felt like shit. And my, I guess it was like a pay, like I had an advocate or something. I don't remember. It's so long ago. I don't remember, but she was like, Well, I had a guy who went back to work in two weeks. Six weeks into my medical leave, I'm like, I still feel horrific. And I had to go back to work. I had to train uh take the train into the city. That shit's bumpy as hell. Every bump hitting my incision and they cut through a nerve. I like I thought it was, I thought it was dying. Did you know they cut through a nerve, or did you when you wake up and start to walk and it's pinging, zapping, that's when they cut through a nerve.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

But did they know? Like, did they know they messed something up?

SPEAKER_01 50:48

No, oh my god, this is a funny story too. As they're giving me anesthesia to pass out, they they ask you questions. So they're like, okay, where would you want to go on vacation? And I'm like saying, like, oh, I want to go to Italy. And as I'm going under, there's this intern in the room on his phone texting with with his gloves on. So he did the wash and he put the gloves on. And he's texting on this phone. And all I'm thinking is I'm passing out. I'm like dirty, dirty, like not sanitary. What's going on? But I can't do anything. You could barely speak as they're like pumping you with this stuff. And I was like, oh my God, he's gonna touch me with that. And you know, woke up, doctor came back in the next day with the intern to check on me. And I literally I was like, You touched your cell phone in my surgery. And I wonder if I wonder whatever. Yes, did you say that? All right, yes, don't touch your cell phone while you're about to touch my organs, sir. Like, please. Um yeah, it's wild. That experience was wild because like I do a lot of marketing for healthcare, and I kind of know the back end of healthcare from my dad working in it, but at one point I needed a shower. I was covered in iodine from head to toe. I'm buzzing for the nurse, and I was like, I can't, I can't really stand. Can you help me shower in the shower? She was like, No, sweetie, you got this. Like, don't, you got this yourself. Didn't help me. My fiance, who was not my fiance at the time, me and him had started dating um nine months before I found out about my mom.

SPEAKER_00 52:26

Nine months deep is not is not soon enough into a relationship to be, or is too not is too new for them to be giving you like sponge baths.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

Yeah, literally. But so he I had to call him. I was like, can you please come to the hospital and like give me a bath? I'm sticky, I'm gross. Like, I need help, and the nurse won't help. And he he came, gave me a sponge bath. Wow, washed me down with dial soap from head to toe. Like things you would never met, like crevices you don't want somebody rubbing up in. But I had everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

I mean, you are getting married though, so at least it was worth it. You knew it was the right guy. I mean, now it's like, what is it?

SPEAKER_01 53:05

Normal, they're like taking a shit on the toilet, you're casually walking past and back on hey, now it's so common. But through that process too, he was O positive and he was going to get tested. If uh if we didn't come out as a perfect match, he was gonna go get tested. Wow. Yeah, so that's very honorable too. And through that experience, you kind of realize life is very short. So if my mom was born in 58, so what it what does that make her right now?

SPEAKER_00 53:37

So she had to be a whole number, so not whole 60. 78?

SPEAKER_01 53:43

Six, sixty-eight, sixty-eight. Um, but my so what? I donated eight years ago. So she was only 60. Like life is so short to be anything but happy when you think about it. Like, who would think as you're 60, you need you need an organ? And then there was complications in the sense the organ didn't kick in right away. My mom had a lot of fluctuations with the with the medication to keep the kidney going and so it didn't uh reject. And you know, you think you're 60. Could you imagine being 60 going through that? Like, I I could never imagine feeling like I have so much more life ahead of me and now I need an a whole ass organ, you know?

SPEAKER_00 54:27

I mean, so you think if you turn 60, you'd be like, uh, I don't have much time left. What's the point?

SPEAKER_01 54:33

I I would I would do it, but I would actually feel like I'd feel too young to be doing something like that. So Oh, yeah, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

I get what you're saying. I'm like, I'm like I was taking you from the perspective of like, I'm 60, I'm gonna die soon. Why would I take this young person's kidney? I'm like the 60, you got a lot of time left. You got 40, 50 years left in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

Your kidney can compensate for not having one, and a lot of people will know they're born, they won't know they're born with one kidney. Like a lot of people from past generations, when like you didn't really check up on the baby like that, um, they wouldn't find out they only have one kidney until later in life. So it's it does your body can process on one kidney, but I think about my well, yeah. I mean, some days I think like, well, if I had the other, would I feel better? Because I do suffer from headaches and I feel tired a lot. I know it's the PCOS stuff and all of that relation to it. I wonder what would happen, but because of my donation, if anything were to happen and I need to go on a list, I'm number one. I'm on the top of the list. Like the wait list in New York is five to seven years. Wow. If you do not have a donor, it's five to seven years. Yeah. And I I would recommend anybody doing it. In all honesty, like it's such a selfless thing to do, but it it it changes your perspective on life. I want to be happy about life, and I could not imagine doing anything else in life but doing things that make me happy. I don't want to work for somebody else. I want to help, I want to build a company where my employees are happy to work. Where, you know, I brought into instance where like clients have gotten upset and have pointed fingers at my employees and I told them, okay, you're not a client of mine anymore because nobody talks to people like that.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

So I guess that brings me to a good question is like, who is your target client? Like who's your ideal client? Who do you want to work for you? Or who do you want to work for rather?

SPEAKER_01 56:36

I've moved so started in health and wellness, moved away from it a little bit with recommendations, but I'm going back into it. I want to bring that passion back to the healthcare industry. Uh, what regardless if it's a med spa injecting your face with filler because you want to feel more beautiful. If that's something you feel you need, I'm 100% for it. But I want to put you in the hands of the right person because I don't want you going down a rabbit hole of I injected my face and now I'm spending 10 years trying to fix things because I don't know what the fuck they put in my face, right? Like I want to bring education back in that sense, but also finding like being able to find a really good doctor. My mom spent years finding and creating her roster of doctors with all of her illnesses. And it's hard to find them too. And I want to be able to work with people that I can bring that back to. How can I help people's health? I have suffered a very long time and continue to suffer with chronic illness, being fatigued all the time, having issues, not an eating disorder, but like food doesn't digest well with me and all of these other things. And I found peace through my journey in social media and digital marketing and finding good people and seeing investments and websites and taking the time to learn, you know, and I I want to bring that back. Now what I see is people think they can run a $99 special for something and think that, you know, they're gonna build a business this way and that's it. And I I'm very passionate about people wanting to change the game. I'm passionate about people who start a business, not because they were sick of making like little money, they because in reality, this makes a lesser.

SPEAKER_00 58:21

Yes. In many ways, you're paying to have a job, but go on.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

Yes. We'll get into that after that. But you need to really have a passion in your own business for me to want to work with you. I find the health and wellness industry is 50-50, but when I grab onto the good ones, I run with it because it feels so good to see somebody so happy to solve somebody's problems or make them feel so much better than they felt before. I and through some of my moments, like with the progesterone, and I'm not knocking that down, that's saying, like, oh, well, it's not fully fixed. The progesterone was life-changing for me because I wouldn't be able to sleep through the night during those painful moments. I I sleep through the night now. I don't get the pain during the night. I do get rest. And that after not having that for 16 years, now you know I'm 17 years in, but it's solved at 16. Like, what a relief. That brought me so much joy. How I want to find businesses who want to bring joy to people like me.

SPEAKER_00 59:25

Well, on that note, I think this is we're at an hour. Oh my God. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to talk the whole time. No, no, no. Oh no, no, no, no. I can get anything out of anybody. I can make you talk. Um, so if people that are listening want to want to get a hold of you, how do they do it?

SPEAKER_01 59:40

Go to the digitalsipsip.co because I was too cheap for dot com. It's dot co. Okay, people. Um, but yeah, feel free to find us on the website and you can follow us on socials, the digital sip co, uh, Instagram, and TikTok. And I'd be lovely just to have a chat. I'm passionate about businesses. You don't have to work with me, but if you feel like you're putting something out there that you can change people's lives, feel free to contact.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:10

Beautiful. God, on that note, thank you so much for uh for being on the show today, Jessica. And uh thanks so much for tuning in. Bye. Thanks for listening to All of the My Lady Business with me. Mary Easty. Uh, we'd love for you to like, review, subscribe, follow us to All of the Milly Business on the program. And if you're a female identified person and you want to dance, you can follow us. Everybody can follow us. But if you want to be a part of the magic ad hot watch dance party, point out. You know, everywhere, quiet out, twist me and com at the and listen to my radio show. Everyone, I'd done it, um, five, and get the church done. Alright, guys, peace out.